Page 61 of Raven
Nan’s cryptic reply made all sorts of Oh Shit! alarms start ringing.
River helped her to bed. “Way to be positive, Nan. Geesh.”
Raven tried to laugh off her unease as the three women sat on the edges of her bed. “No worries. Seriously. Whatever waswrong has passed— into the toilet.” Her sisters laughed. Her grandma did not.
“Did you use... that is...” Nan shook her head like she was shaking off her hesitation. “When was your last cycle, Raven?”
Silence. Only the waves breaking against the lake’s shoreline accompanied the silent stillness of her bedroom. She found her hands enfolded by River and Rowan. Neither spoke, though.
“Nan, I’m... on birth control.” Face blazing at discussing this with the older woman. Still, it had to be said.
“Okay, okay, then. And, have you ever missed one of the pills?”
“No. Never. I only caught a bug. That’s all this is.”
And then Rowan dropped a truth bomb.
“Before we left Oklahoma to come here, didn’t you and River discover that you’d switched toiletry bags—andbirth control packs?”
“Yes. But that was forever ago.” Oh shit. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt her whole body go numb.
“We decided to keep going with the packs we were on since we’d been taking each other’s for who knows how long. We get three months at a time, so if you started taking mine then... I was always three weeks different than you, Rave, right? So, we all wouldn’t be on our period at the same time. It probably happened in May, right before you went to Ireland with Bran...”
River paused, obviously trying to do some mental math. “You would have taken your placebo pills and then immediately started taking my placebo pills. They’re all white, I don’t have sex, so I never even look at what week I’m on.” She looked as sick as Raven was moments ago over the toilet.
“And our periods are light or spotty most months,” Raven spoke softly, almost to herself. Looking up at River, she added, “I did this. I took your bag by accident. Your pills.”
“We don’t know for sure. I’ll ask the housekeeper where we can get a test.” Rowan got up without another word. Obviously, in search of a pregnancy test.
“This can’t be. No way.”
“We don’t know yet, Raven, but if you are, that child will be so loved and so welcome into our family.” Nan was crying as she hugged Raven.
Raven looked at River over Nan’s head. River only shook her head and shrugged. That about summed it up.
Two lines.Two lines. Two lines. Raven could still see those two lines behind her lids after she squeezed her eyes tight. Bran would never believe she hadn’t gotten pregnant on purpose. It was a mistake. A foolish mistake and all hers. River was probably right. She had to have started her sister’s placebo pills soon after she’d finished her own.
A mistake. How did she feel about it? It didn’t feel like a mistake. Nan was right.
Not a mistake, then. A blessing. She would never utter the word mistake in reference to her child again.
She couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever. So, she took a deep breath and splashed some water on her face. Staring into the mirror, she covered her flat stomach with one of her hands. She smiled then. Really smiled.
“You were never a mistake,” she whispered.
Time to face the music. Raven opened the door and walked to the living room, where everyone had agreed to wait. They’d tried to hover outside the bathroom door, but she couldn’t pee with all the whispering and shuffling about.
They all noticed her at the same time and stayed silent as she joined River on one of the sofas. She adjusted a pillow before finally settling. No one broke the silence, kindly waiting for her to decide how she wanted to tell them.
Clearing her throat, she cringed. What an annoying habit. “You’ve probably guessed. I’m definitely pregnant.”
Nan dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. Her sisters waited for some cue to tell them how Raven was leaning emotionally so they’d know how to react. She helped them out.
She smiled and laughed, bringing her hands to her face. “And I’m thrilled.”
Raven heard Nan laughing as her sisters’ dog-piled her on the couch. They were all laughing and hugging and touching her stomach in wonder.
“We’re going to be aunts, Riv. Can you believe it?” Rowan asked in wonder.
