Page 62 of Unclaimed Bonds
Anders nods. “I didn’t want the role. I wasn’t born into the family, and I wasn’t officially adopted. So they created a hierarchy of sorts—a head guard position with a second and third lead role. They would determine each role later when we came of age. I was perfectly fine with the second or third lead position.
“You must understand, for the first time in my life, I had friends and a family. I didn’t want to disrupt anything meant to be theirs. I was open about how I felt, and I didn’t begrudge Chris or Elias anything. In fact, I decided to join the military. Chris and Elias wanted to come with me, but their other obligations required they remain at home. So I went alone, hoping that when I returned, Elias or Chris would fill the head guard position.
Anders pauses, gazing intently at Christian. What is he trying to convey? He reaches for a glass of water on a nearby table. I smile at him in encouragement to continue.
“I was nineteen when I left for basic training. I met my true mate a couple of weeks before I was due to leave. I tried to fight the bond. It wasn’t safe for her to be with me. It haunted me, knowing her fate would be that of my parents and grandfather. I tried to stay away until I couldn’t anymore.
“I kept my relationship a secret. I didn’t want anyone to know. I wrote to her every chance I could under a fake name. She wrote back. After basic training, I returned home for a short vacation and snuck off to meet her every chance I had. I loved her. I wanted to keep her safe and protected, even if it meant protecting her from me. So, I didn’t hesitate when I received new orders for a job. I finally confided in Joe and Xavier and asked them to keep an eye on her, to make sure she was safe.
“A short while later, after I returned to the military, I received word that she was pregnant. Between Joe, Xavier, and I, we moved her to the Northern A territory under the ruse that she planned to attend college. She did go—I made sure of it after. When my twin boys were born, I relocated them to the Asian territories to be raised by the same family who raised me. By then, my mate hated me. I refused to tell her where they were. She lost her children… and me. I paid for her education and kept tabs on her until she returned to her family. I stayed in the military, and between deployments, I visited the boys from time to time. I know it wasn’t enough. I needed to protect them. I… I… would rather see them alive, safe, even if I couldn’t be in their lives completely.
“I wanted it to be different, especially when Chris and Elias met their mates. It killed me to see how happy they were. When I came home five years later, I had a crazy idea that maybe we could make it work. I lived with the Alpha King and became partof the guard. I found her again and pleaded with her to forgive me. She sent word that she wanted to see me and talk, so I had hope. As we left our secret meeting place, I had gotten word of another deployment. I promised that when I returned, I would find a way to become a family again.
“My deployment extended for years. I couldn’t write or call anyone. When I finally returned to base, Joe notified me that the Alpha King wasn’t doing well. I needed to return home as soon as possible. I arrived in time to sit at his bedside and say our final goodbyes. It was the worst day of my life, and it worsened by the minute.
“I found a letter from my mate, dated two years prior, claiming she didn’t want to see me anymore. She didn’t want me to find her. I planned to find her anyway to explain why I was gone for so long. But the doctor called for a family meeting. They found traces of poison in the Alpha’s blood.
“Everything happened at once. I lost a man whom I called a father, and I lost my mate. I was enraged that the guards allowed this to occur. I lost sight of everything else and made it my personal mission to find the asshole who killed the Alpha King. When I found him, I made sure he knew exactly why he was dying. My grief, anger, and regrets consumed me after that. I reverted to my original thinking, that I couldn’t risk being involved with my mate or my sons. I convinced myself that who I was, even being with the royal family, wasn’t safe. So I decided to dedicate my entire life to protecting those right in front of me, my brother, because every time I looked at him, I saw the ten-year-old boy who lost his parents, like me, to the Resistance. I promised his father?—”
“Our father,” my father corrects in a hushed tone.
“Our father,” Anders repeats. “I promised I would protect him with my life. Between the four of us, we built the guardrecruit program so that nothing like that would ever happen again.”
My father clears his throat. “I named Anders head guard after my father died. Elias and Chris agreed.”
Anger swells within me that Anders gave up so easily on his mate and his sons. But I understand, more than he may think. I guess history has a way of repeating itself.
Anders turns to me. “When I learned you were mine, I wanted to find my mate and ask her what the hell happened. I had no idea you existed. At the time, I couldn’t trust myself not to hurt her, for hurting you.” He swallows hard. “After some time, though, I realized your mother would never allow such a travesty to happen to you. I know her better than that. I know in my heart she never told me about you because she wanted to keep you. I couldn’t be the man she needed, and she at least had you.”
He leans forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, and covers his face with his hands.
“Anders,” my father whispers.
“Don’t, Nathan,” he mutters.
I rub his back. His despair breaks my heart. I wonder if there is some way, through this stupid show, I could find her, find some answers.
Anders drops his hands and gazes at me. “I haven’t seen your mother in twenty-five years. Every time I look at my boys, I see her… and you. You have my eyes and my hair, but so many aspects of you remind me of her.”
“Anders,” my mother whispers from the end on the couch. “Maybe it’s not too late,” she offers.
“She will never forgive me for what I did. After twenty-five years, she’s likely moved on by now. I don’t blame her, if that’s her choice and she’s happy. That’s all that matters to me.”
Swirling small circles on his back with my fingers, I feel his pain behind his words. “You love her,” I declare.
He drops his head, hiding the pain that flashes across his face. “I never stopped.”
We take a much-needed break after Anders’s confession. My parents want to consult with each other in private, and I answer emails and some text messages. We all return at the allocated time.
Carmen breezes into the room as I take my seat. “We are missing one of your family members.”
I glance over at my mother on my left, my father on the far end of the couch, and Anders still seated on my right. “I don’t understand. I’m pretty sure I covered everyone.”
“You haven’t really spoken about Luke.”
I clear my throat. I don’t want to discuss him. “Well, that’s easy. He was away at school. I didn’t really know him that well.”
She narrows her eyes. “I don’t believe you. I think it’s important you talk about him so the viewers know yourentirefamily.”
