Page 89 of Breaking from Frame
Deviants. Claire frowns, toying with the necklace Theo gave her. It’s a long string of wooden beads, with a large amber pendant. “Have you ever been arrested?”
Theo pours two shots, pushing one towards Claire. “Our existence is a crime. They’ve got nicknames for me at the station.”
She can’t stomach the idea of more alcohol right now, so she pushes the shot back at Theo. “Has Jackie?”
Theo takes his shot, and then Claire’s. He makes a face, and coughs. “Yes.”
“What for?”
“Being at a gay bar during a raid. Homosexual conduct. Once for assaulting an officer who was trying to arrest me for wearing a skirt.”
“Is this why Jackie pushed me away?” Claire says. “She was trying to protect me from this?”
Theo sets his elbows on the table, leaning forward to massage his temples. His eyes are squeezed shut. “That’s part of it.”
The frank answer is a little surprising. Claire glares at him, poking his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me that? Why wouldn’t she? That changes everything.”
“It’s her business.”
“But—”
Theo raises his head. He looks Claire in the eye, and he claps his hands together loudly. “Okay. I’m going to say this once, and whatever you do with it is up to you. Agreed?”
Claire frowns. “Alright.”
“And you never tell Jackie that I told you this. Agreed?”
“Yes, fine,” Claire says impatiently.
Theo takes a breath. He rolls his neck and pours himself another shot.
“Jackie never quite forgave herself for all the sneaking around and lying she had to do with Val, and now she’s convinced that she corrupted you,” Theo says. “That if she hadn’t influenced you, you’d have kept on in your happy little suburban bubble,and now she’s coaxed something out that will make your life harder. She feels guilty.”
“But I wasn’t happy,” Claire says.
Theo takes the shot. He doesn’t wince this time. “Most women aren’t happy. They just don’t have the gall to do anything about it. Valerie isn’t happy with her husband, either, but she chose him in the end. Jacks can’t imagine anyone choosing her, so she leaves first, and she stays away.”
Jackie doesn’t expect to be chosen. Claire’s first instinct is indignation—that Jackie didn’t even give her the chance to make that choice, and instead chose to hurt them both. But it makes a certain kind of sense. It took Claire time to come around to how she feels, and identify that she’s—
Claire almost laughs. Isn’t she proving Jackie’s point, by not even being able to comfortably think the word? And Claire knows that she’s not going back to Pete, but Jackie doesn’t.
Actually, Jackie might not even know she’s left in the first place. Would there be any indication from the outside? They already weren’t speaking, so how would Jackie know that Claire isn’t just spending more time indoors?
“Do you think she still wants me to choose her?” Claire says.
Theo stands up. He digs through a box near the couch, pulling out a few blankets. “Sorry, that’s the end of Theo’s Sharing Circle. It’s time for me to clock out.”
“Come on, Theo,” Claire says. She catches a blanket when Theo tosses it at her. “Help me.”
“I’ve already told you far more than Jacks would be comfortable with,” Theo says. He throws a pillow onto the couch, flicking off the overhead light. “Go to sleep, Claire.”
Claire tries to do as he says. She tosses and turns for hours. She thinks of her mother, wishing Claire had chosen an easier path. She thinks of what her life was just a few weeks ago. Maybe that life should have been easy, but it wasn’t. This, even with thedanger and the fear, is still easier. There’s a joy here like she’s never known before.
Sleep comes eventually, but not for long. Claire’s early schedule is still engrained in her, and she’s up by seven thirty while Theo still snores. While he sleeps, she tidies his kitchen and does the dishes. She gives the place a dusting. She wanders to the windowsill, where several framed photos sit—two of them feature Jackie.
By ten o’clock Theo is still asleep, and Claire’s wandering leads her to his telephone. Her fingers punch seven familiar numbers on their own.
“Hello,” Jackie says, after six rings. She sounds tired, and not just because it’s early. It’s a haggard kind of tired. Even so, just hearing her voice is almost enough to bring tears to Claire’s eyes.
