Page 34 of The Holidays with Dr. Mitchell
“This is Jake, Jim, Collin, Alex, and Spencer,” Nat said with her eyes rolling, “and Collin and Jake had to know this would eventually come full circle and bite them in the ass.”
“Wait. Shh,” I said when the instructor—or should I saypaid actor—started to talk.
“Very well done. Now, as we center and ground ourselves to manifest our desires, I want you to call out to your inner boy, and ask for what you truly need, not want,” the man said.
“That’s Jack playing Gustoff,a character designed to become Jake and Collin’s nemesis,” Avery said. “He’s been orchestrating everything from the beginning.”
“There’s going to be fireworks when they learn Jim and the guys did this,” Laney said truthfully.
“Totally,” I covered my mouth, trying not to smile when I watched all the men stand up and do the yogatree pose. “Okay, fill us in on everything from the second this was planned, put into place, and we got thrown into the action. And God help us all if the second part of this vacation isn’t?—”
“You girls better just be ready for some wild and rehabilitated spiritual men to rejoin you,” Nat said with a chuckle, “because you’re about to get two of the horniest and happiest assholes on the planet.” She laughed at her joke while I stood in disbelief that Jim, Alex, and Spence hadactuallygotten those two tricksters back.
Nobody got one over Jake and Collin, but from the looks on Jake and Collin’s faces, they’d been beaten at their own game. If Jim and the guys were watching this live like we were, they had to be crying with laughter at how seriously Collin and Jake were taking their hired actors.
I truly hoped they had some form of backup plan for thisvacationbecause Jake and Collin would not hesitate to retaliate, and this would end up being some Nightmare Before Christmas situation, which would probably last until next Christmas.
I wasn’t sure what would result from this doctor versus CEO game, but I could see Jake’s youthful and relaxed expression, and it made my heart swell with love. Even though he was being duped, he went along with it, and I knew in my heart it was because he was trying his hardest to get through whatever they were being forced into so he could get back to me.
CHAPTER 18
Jake
Day four of what I was now referring to asHoliday Hellwas upon us, and Collin and I had made plans to bolt tonight. Sadly, this lovers’ retreat, or whatever this hellhole was called, was more of a torture than a help in assisting me to find inner peace or whatever I was expected to be looking for.
That ego death thing? Yeah, Collin and I could safely say that our egos had crashed, burned, and been incinerated after two nights of shitting in the woods to clear toxins and parasites from our bodies.
This was a literal shit show and something only dumbasses who cheated on their wives should be subjected to in order to save their marriages—not the ones who came here to keep the fucking spark alive.
“With the energy you’re feeling while you chant, move your thoughts in the direction of that which you should like to manifest,” Gustoff resounded the weird fucking chant we’d been listening to for the last hour or so. “Feel your soul call to it. Feelthe crisp air surrounding your nearly naked bodies.” I reopened my eyes, glanced at Collin’s aggravated expression, then looked up to see Gustoff bang the dong to round out the bullshit he was spouting off. “Feel the goodness of life moving toward you like a rushing wave, mightily and boldly claiming the sands of the shoreline and taking what it wants. Your manifestations want you. They need you. They thank you for all your hopes and desires of them.”
“Yes,” I heard a man cry. “Yes, I need and want you.”
“Fucking hell,” I whispered to Collin, who was doing a fine job of pretending he was into this as much as I was.
We started faking interest in this bullshit after two nights to prevent another evening of shitting our lives away in the forest. In fact, we had been faking it so well that Collin and I had become Gustoff’s two favorite husbands at this retreat.
“Shh,” Collin said, his tone reminding me that if I did anything to blow our cover, we wouldn’t be able to sneak out of here tonight. “Focus.”
“Dude is moaning and practically orgasming right now,” I said, feeling disgusted by Harold getting off in this manifestation thing we were stuck doing for the entire day.
“I’m going to sound just like him when I see Laney tonight, too,” Collin said in a hushed voice, smirking before his face fell serious again as if he were deep in manifestation mode.
“Let us stand,” Gustoff said, and everyone rose as if we were in some weird cult. “Dr. Mitchell,” he nodded toward me, “Collin,” he said with the usual approving grin he’d been giving Collin and me since we became his favorite kiss-asses.
“Yes?” I said as respectfully as I could.
“How are your souls this fine morning? I see you are both ever-so-deeply into this manifestation, and I trust you are feeling close to the harmonic balance of Mother Earth?”
“The peace is coursing with the magnetic pull and energy of the earth,” I bullshitted him in response. “Mother Earth is bountiful in peace and stillness, and I accept it.”
“I am grounded as well,” Collin said, eyeing me because I took it a bit too far.
“I see this in the youthful glow you two are radiating today. A transformation has taken place, and your manifest power is overwhelming.”
“You can feel that?” I blurted out without thinking.
“I feel energy,” Gustoff answered, eyeing me skeptically. “I feel yours and Collin’s stronger today than I have since you arrived; however, your vibrations seem slightly off. What is this I am sensing?”
