Page 7 of The Holidays with Dr. Mitchell
“This whole trick-or-treat idea that you ladies have devised is beyond my comprehension,” Spencer said. “I’m not wearing that shit. I will take Angel to a couple of houses, and that’s it. Why aren’t you at your showing?”
“Do not speak to me as if I’m some child, Spencer Monroe,” she seethed. “In fact, thisideaof ours was all mine because I’m sick of you always missing these events. You’re always overseas,” she looked at Jim, “and always working. Missing Angel’s second birthday was where I drew the line, honey,” she smirked, and Spencer crumbled. “Now, before you make yourself look more foolish in front of your friends, I suggest you put the costume on and be the father of the year. Actions are speaking much louder than words tonight, gentlemen.” She eyed us before looking me up and down and laughing, “What the hell are you, a geek?”
“Geek? No, Nat. The yellow ball of feathers with orange plastic legs you’re about to drop your husband into is thegeekcostume of the night.”
“His daughter’s opinions and mine are all that matters,” she shrugged. “And Big Bird is our favorite.”
“I’ll say,” Jim dared to speak while Nat was in the process of ripping everyone a new one.
“Dad?” I heard John say as he walked out of the house. He was dressed as Iron Man and all the kids were following him around like he really was Tony Stark. “Why are you dressed like Harry Potter?”
“He’s every kid’s favorite at your age, and your mother loves him, too. Did I nail this or what?”
“Your cape is too short, your hair is way too perfectly styled, and your wand looks like you made it from paper straws.”
“Leave it to your boy to critique his favorite character,” my brother said with a laugh. “You would’ve done well to dress up as Loki and be his enemy for the night.”
John grinned, “Am I being too hard on you, Dad?”
“Just a little,” I said, shrugging my shoulders and feeling sorry for myself that my kid didn’t think I was amazing.
“I think it’s cool,” he said.
“I don’t need your pity, boy,” I taunted him.
“I know, but I’m glad you’re here, and it’s cool you dressed up as one of my favorite book characters.”
Back on the high-status train, my ego was fed, and I was all smiles and cockiness again.
“The best thing about little John, aside from sharing the same name as me, is that he keeps your arrogance in check. Have any of you guys seen my wife?” John Aster said, stepping out onto his front porch where we all stood.
“Yeah, thanks, Aster,” I said. “I haven’t seen Mick, but I just got here, and then I got blinded by Big Bird, so I’m not sure where she is.”
“Seb and Darcy needed a hand to encourage Charlotte to trick-or-treat tonight,” Jim said. “I imagine Charlotte is still struggling with her transition to living in California.”
“Poor thing,” Alex said. “I can’t imagine growing up so isolated and then being thrown into the midst of all of us. Her anxiety must be soaring.”
“Well, I know the ladies will work together to help her. I mean, if Seb’s daughter digs Big Bird, then she’ll be living the high life once Spencer is dressed for this occasion.”
As I expected,my Harry Potter impersonation won the hearts of everyone. After we got our laughs at Spencer’s expense out of the way, we allowed Big Bird to take the lead with his daughter, his fat, feathery ass waddling as we began walking toward the end of the driveway at dusk.
The sun had begun to set, and the sky was painted a beautiful orange hue, perfectly fitting the occasion in this charming neighborhood on this particular night. Collin’s dumbass got held up at work, so that fucker actually got completely out of this whole shindig, but who cared? He’d hate to be riding second best to me, and that was a fact.
When we turned up the sidewalk to head to our first house, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“Whoa!” Addy, Jim’s oldest daughter, said. “That’s so awesome!”
“It’s like at Disneyland,” John said.
“Damn, that is pretty freaking incredible,” Jim added.
I stood in awe of the Headless Horseman, trotting up the street towards us with a lit pumpkin in his hand. Somehow, this person had rigged a smoke machine to the saddle, creating the most badass effect.
“John and Mick’s neighborhood knows how to go out of their way to make this one hell of an event,” Alex said.
Everyone on the street stood and watched as the Headless Horseman began galloping toward us.
“Who’s that?” Spencer said.
