Page 3 of Fire and Fate
"You love it," she counters, and she is right. Gods help me, she is right.
The final lacing comes free, and I help her step out of the dress, catching the heavy fabric before it can pool on the floor. Beneath it, she wears a simple silk blouse that clings to her curves, and I force myself to look away. I focus on hanging the gown properly even as awareness prickles across my skin.
I have bathed her, dressed her, stood guard while she slept for almost three years now. I should be immune to the sight of her in various states of undress. But I am not. I never am. Every glimpse feels stolen and precious, something I will hoard in my memory for all the days to come when she finally accepts some Alpha's suit and I am sent away.
Because that is what will happen. It is inevitable. King Frederik will eventually find an Alpha powerful enough, prestigious enough, that Kaia's refusal will not matter. And that Alpha will not tolerate a Beta guard who looks at their Omega the way I look at her. Even if Kaia’s desire is to bring back a dragon’s head to rule her own kingdom, King Frederik will never allow it.
But I’m not going to tell my princess that. I’m going to let her hope for as long as I can.
"Sol."
Her voice pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. She has moved to her vanity, and is watching me in the mirror, her dark eyes full of understanding. She sees too much, her gift for reading emotions meaning I can rarely hide from her.
"Where did you go?" she asks softly.
"Nowhere important." I cross to her, picking up the silver-backed brush that was her mother's. "Let me do your hair."
She does not argue. She simply settles into the cushioned seat and closes her eyes as I begin working the brush through her magnificent curls. I have done this hundreds of times, learning the texture of her hair, the way it springs back against my fingers, full of life and defiance just like her.
"Tell me," she says after a long moment of comfortable silence. "Tell me where you went just now. I felt it. That sadness that clings to you sometimes."
My hand stills. "Kaia."
"Please." She opens her eyes, meeting mine in the mirror. "No secrets tonight. I am so tired of them, Sol. Let me have honesty, at least here with you."
The ache in her voice undoes me. I set down the brush and rest my hands on her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her through the thin fabric. "I was thinking about the future," I admit quietly. "About what happens when you eventually accept someone's suit."
"I will not. I have told you."
"Your father will force your hand eventually." I squeeze her shoulders gently, hating that I have to say this but unable to leave it unspoken. "He is the King. When he runs out of patience, when the political pressure becomes too great, he will simply command it. And you will have no choice."
She stands abruptly, turning to face me. Her eyes are blazing with that familiar fire that makes my wolf sing with admiration even as my heart breaks. “Then we’ll go find that dragon’s head during the next hunt. We won’t wait.”
"You are the crown princess." I cup her face in my hands, my thumbs stroking her cheekbones. "There is no way that the king would allow this. It’s too soon. You’ll have to get him used to the idea. In due time, princess, because I will not let you throw everything you’ve worked so hard for away. Not for me."
"Why not?" Her voice cracks. "What good is a crown if I have to wear it alone? If I have to spend my life bound to some Alpha who sees me as a prize to be won rather than a person to be known? Even if I do get back with the dragon’s head and find an Alpha, I won’t let them disrespect you."
"Kaia."
"No! I love you." The words tumble out of her, a desperate edge to her voice. Tears glaze her eyes as she reaches for me. "I love you, Solace. I have since you became my guard. And I know you feel it too. I can sense it in every look, every touch, every moment we are together. So why can’t I do this? You aremine.”
A soft growl falls from her lips, her nose scrunching up as she glares up at me. God, I love this woman.
I dip my head to kiss her, to stop her from saying the words that will tear us both apart, the only way to show her what I cannot say aloud without making everything worse. My lips capture hers, swallowing her surprise, her pain, and her hope. After a heartbeat of stunned stillness, she melts into me.
Gods, she melts like she was made to fit against my body.
Her hands fist in my jacket, pulling me closer, and I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her like she might disappear if I do not anchor her here. When we finally break apart, both breathing hard, a few tears have run down her cheeks.
"Sol," she whispers, my name a prayer on her lips.
"I love you too," I confess. "I love you so much it terrifies me. But that is exactly why we cannot, why I cannot—"
"Stop." She presses her fingers to my lips, silencing me. "Just not tonight. Please. I do not want to think about tomorrow or next week or what my father will do. Tonight, I just want this. I want you. And then tomorrow, I’m going to tell him I’m going on the next hunt."
Every instinct I have as a Beta, as her guard, as someone sworn to protect her tells me to step back. But knowing that we are so close to the end ofus,I am tired of trying to be good, tired of pretending my heart does not belong to her completely.
So instead of stepping back, I lean forward and kiss her again.
