Page 86 of Obsidian Dream
Her damp hair hung down her back.He grabbed a nearby hairbrush, needing to do something and not think about the past.He began detangling Khalida’s hair, letting the monotonous task calm his mind down.Khalida didn’t protest, just settled between his legs on the sofa as she softly nibbled on the figs from the platter.He stared at the silver strands and counted each of his brushstrokes.It wasn’t long until she relaxed, leaning against him as the silence grew between them.
Khalida reached out and grabbed one of the pieces of dried fruit.He had suddenly lost his appetite.
Absently, he started to braid Khalida’s thick hair, knowing this would be the last time he would be given the honor, and he wanted to remember every single second.Atlantean consorts, rare as they were because of their long lifespans, were renowned for the tradition of braiding their partner’s hair.Traditionally, they were woven with ribbons and feathers in the colors of their House.But he didn’t have either with him.And he wasn’t really her consort, not anymore.
After he finished, she stood, just out of his reach.Her absence was like a hole that he couldn’t fill.He forced himself to stay still, unmoving.Just in case he startled her.They had both been running from this conversation for more than five hundred years, and he didn’t think they were ready for it, not without destroying each other.
“Sidra.”Every time he thought of their daughter, it was a brutal reminder that he was the reason she had been born human.And no amount of wishing or praying to the human gods would change the fact.He would have sold his soul to have her back, but Atlanteans didn’t believe in eternal souls and the human god of his childhood had long lost interest in him.His heart thundered.The sound grew louder and louder until it threatened to overwhelm him.“It’s my fault that Sidra died.”
She looked at him, confused.Her eyes watered with unshed tears.“You were nowhere near Sidra.”
He had never said it out loud—would it hit him harder once he had?He opened his mouth, but the words were caught in his throat, his hands clammy as he wiped them on his pants.“She died because she was human.And she was human because of me.”
A random quirk of genetics had given him Atlantean genes.Somehow, his own daughter hadn’t been that lucky.And because of that, he would never forgive himself.“She may have survived if she hadn’t inherited my human genetics.”
“No, Talik.She didn’t die because she was human.She loved watching the rising river and always wanted to be as close to water as she could.A full-blooded Atlantean wouldn’t have survived the flash flooding of the Nile.We can’t breathe underwater.”She looked up toward the ceiling, but it didn’t stop the small tear drop from rolling down her face.“It took me a long time to realize I blamed myself for not being there.The flash flooding that occurred—it wasn’t any of our faults.We couldn’t have predicted it.We both hadn’t realized she knew how to open the gates and that she would go straight to the reeds by the Nile.”Khalida paused, a half-smile on her face as she was lost in a memory.“She was so fascinated by water and loved it in a way I never understood.”
He had been the one to introduce her to the river, something he and Sidra could enjoy.Khalida had always watched from the sidelines.Her fear of the moving water had been well established.Instead, he had always taken so much delight in the way Sidra had loved to play in the water as much as he had when he was a child.And it had damned them.
Khalida moved toward the fireplace.He couldn’t fault her.They were so used to having their own space that it was hard to be this vulnerable.But the fear hadn’t stopped her.She had always had more courage than him.Khalida kneeled and rearranged the wood before she struck a match.The bright red-gold flame danced along the wood before properly catching alight.The burning fire cast her in a halo, the bright reds and oranges giving her an ethereal glow.The braids in her hair harshly reminded him of the crown she could never wear.Her claim as heir of House Azaes would forever be forsaken.Because of him.The Atlantean council had forced her to decide between him and her role as heir of House Azaes.Even Anhur pleading on behalf of Khalida hadn’t swayed them.In the end, Talik had been the reason Khalida was always hurt.
“You left us.”Khalida clenched her fists.“You left me.”
It wasn’t an accusation.She stared at him, head raised like a goddess, shoulders back.Underneath the surface, the strain in her shoulders was unmistakable.The hitch in her voice, so subtle it would have been easy to miss, if he hadn’t been searching for it.
“I thought the council would have welcomed you back.Once I was gone, there would have been no reason not to accept you back as the heir of House Azaes.”
It was where she belonged before he had taken her away, because their archaic laws and council had looked down on his lack of bloodline.And when she should’ve taken heed of the elders’ advice, she’d chosen him.At every opportunity, no matter what it cost her, she had always sided with him.They’d had eighty years together, but that hadn’t been enough for them to build a bond that could outlast grief.And in the end, he had never repaid her, instead he had left her alone to pick up the pieces.
“Bullshit,” Khalida suddenly said, her voice hoarse.She turned to face him.The dark gray shirt hung loosely over her body, making her look even more vulnerable as she hugged her knees.“All I wanted was for you to be there.To hold me.I wanted to remember our daughter as she was.”A single tear slowly slid along her cheek.“Why did you really leave?”
The silence between them grew.If he listened closely, he could hear Khalida slowly shattering into a million pieces.It was like a knife to his heart.
Talik closed his eyes.He was a coward, but Khalida deserved better.So he forced his eyes open, the world around him hazy.He twisted his pinkie ring, the black matte metal a dark reminder of his actions.“I was fucking selfish.I didn’t want to see your grief turn to hate when you realized I was the reason Sidra died.I couldn’t watch the light in your eyes darken when you realized I was at fault.It would have only been a matter of time before you started thinking like that.”
“I never blamed you.”The whisper was heartbreaking.“I didn’t understand that grief is different for everyone, and when I needed you, you weren’t there.You pulled away, and I didn’t understand why.You had promised me the world and when I needed you most, you weren’t there.”
He closed his eyes, letting her pain wash over him.Knowing that no matter what he did next, it would never make up for the last five hundred years.“You didn’t stop me.”
“Because I trusted you.”Khalida’s voice broke as a shudder went through her body.“You were all that I had left, and there was nothing I could have done, no matter how much I tried, that would have made you stay.You made the choice to leave.Not me.”
Talik opened his mouth...wanting to deny it.But he owed her so much more.He had chosen the coward’s way out.
“Grief makes you do funny things.”Khalida sighed.Weariness tinged her voice.“It hits all of us differently.I didn’t understand it then.We destroyed each other because we didn’t know any better.And for me it was far easier to hate you than to understand why.”
He reached out but pulled back instantly.She deserved so much more.“Khalida...”
“You let me believe I wasn’t worthy of love or worth fighting for.”
Talik went to open his mouth to explain that it hadn’t been that, that he had left her because he had loved her, had wanted to protect her, and he realized what a damn cliché that was.He had done it because it was easier on him—and he wouldn’t have had to risk her love turning into hate.
Pretty little thing.
Ninhursag’s voice slithered through him, leaving a trail of ice behind.
He froze.He’d half hoped Ninhursag was gone.But she had just been biding her time like the venomous snake she was.Her voice was louder.Her hold on him was harder to ignore.It felt like she was in the room with them.The soft tendrils of Ninhursag’s laughter wrapped around him, infusing him with an icy chill.
Khalida frowned as she touched her neck; ruby red droplets, one, two, three...dripped from her fingers.
