Page 49 of Tempting the Reclusive Duke
"The very same. I take it you're familiar with his work?"
"Familiar? Evie, the man is brilliant. His essay on the relationship between Byzantine court poetry and religious texts was revolutionary. And he proposed to you? Just now? Here?"
"In the most measured, reasonable manner imaginable," Eveline confirmed. "Complete with promises of a library to organise and manuscripts to translate."
"Good heavens." Harriet stared at her as if she'd grown a second head. "That's... that's wonderful. Isn't it?"
The echo of her own earlier question made Eveline's throat tight. "Is it? He offers me everything I've claimed to want...intellectual freedom, scholarly resources, escape from scandal. A life built around books and learning rather than social obligations."
"But?" Harriet prompted, because of course she could hear the reservation in Eveline's voice.
"But he's not..." Eveline stopped, frustrated by her inability to articulate what was missing. How could she explain that Theodore's careful proposal, for all its appeal, had left her feeling hollow? That his ink-stained fingers, charming as they were, made her think of other hands; broader, stronger, trembling as they bound her wounds?
"He's not Adrian," Harriet said quietly.
"Don't." The word came out sharper than intended. "This has nothing to do with... with him."
"Doesn't it?" Harriet leaned forward, her expression gentle but knowing. "Evie, darling, you can lie to the world, you can lie to me, but please don't lie to yourself. Everything has to do with him. Your refusal of his proposal, your current situation, and yes, how you respond to Theodore Browne's very sensible offer."
"Adrian offered duty. Theodore offers partnership. Neither offers love." Eveline laughed, but it sounded bitter even to her own ears. "Perhaps I should be grateful for the honesty."
"Theodore might come to love you, given time. Shared interests, mutual respect—many successful marriages have been built on less."
"And many unsuccessful ones have been built on more." Eveline rose, pacing to her desk and back. "I should accept him. I know I should. It's the sensible choice, the practical choice. He's kind, intelligent, respectable. We could have a good life together, discussing Byzantine poetry and arguing about translation choices."
"But?"
"But I'm apparently not a sensible woman. Because all I can think about is how his proposal made me feel nothing. No racing heart, no trembling hands, no desperate wish to say yes despite all logic." She stopped pacing, pressing her palms against her eyes. "Theodore looks at me and sees a useful companion, a scholarly partner. Adrian looked at me and saw..."
"What did he see?"
The question hung in the air, demanding an answer Eveline wasn't sure she could give. What had Adrian seen? A challenge to his ordered existence? A temptation to be resisted until resistance became impossible? Or had he, in those unguarded moments between them, seen the same thing she'd seen in him? A matching soul, a complementary fire, someone who could make him whole even as he completed her?
"It doesn't matter what he saw," she said finally, dropping her hands. "What matters is what I do now. Theodore has made an offer. I need to consider it rationally, without letting past... complications cloud my judgment."
Harriet rose and crossed to her, taking her hands gently. "You're right, it should be a rational decision. So let's be rational. Make a list with advantages and disadvantages. Consider it from every angle. But Evie?" She squeezed gently. "Don't forget to consider what would make you happy. Not just secure or respectable or intellectually satisfied, but truly happy."
After Harriet left, Eveline did exactly as suggested. She sat at her desk with a fresh sheet of paper, dividing it neatly into two columns. At the top, she wrote "Reasons to Accept Mr. Browne" and "Reasons to Refuse."
Under the first column, the advantages accumulated quickly:
Restoration of reputation
Financial security
Intellectual companionship
Access to extensive library
Freedom to pursue scholarship
Escape from London and its gossip
Respect for my mind and work
Kind, steady temperament
Shared interests
