Page 55 of Somewhere Along The Line
The words come out with a huff, my trademark self-deprecation firmly in place to keep Kyle from getting too close. He sees through my bullshit and gives me a look, raising an eyebrow and leaning forward on the table as if to say,“Really, man?”
I can appreciate that Kyle isn’t ribbing me right now. He seems genuinely interested in talking this out, and while it may be a ploy to avoid the analysis awaiting us back at the office, I’m grateful nonetheless.
“So, what’s the issue then? That you like her?”
“Yes, I like her, but it’s also… more complicated than that.”
“Seems pretty binary to me.” Kyle’s shoulders shrug. “You either like someone or you don’t. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
A puff of air fills my cheeks before I push it out slowly through puckered lips. “Remember the last time we came to Sombreros? The day when I was flustered after talking to Piper on the train? I wasn’t… I wasn’t totally honest with you about the interaction we had.”
He nods with a curious expression, waiting for me to continue.
“It’s hard to explain—I promise there’s a lot of missing context here—but we decided to sign up for a Family Fares pass so she could save money on her commute. I added her as my wife on a joint account.”
A panoramic view of Kyle’s teeth assaults my eyes, his jaw dropping to his chest.
“It was supposed to be no big deal, a small fib on paper, but then the smoke bomb incident happened. The police started asking questions and they referenced my MTA account as they were building a passenger manifest. They expected us to give witness statements as a ‘married couple’ because that’s how we appear in the portal.”
My fingers add air quotes around “married couple.” Kyle’s jaw is still on the floor.
“Piper and I decided to lean into the charade in an attempt to avoid being outed for fraud. It’s been… complicated ever since.”
“Holy shit, dude. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? This is wild.”
“You haven’t even heard the wildest part, Kyle—we may be called to testify if the case against the attacker goes to trial. Under oath.”
The skin at my hairline tickles as I recount this scenario. It feels like someone is breathing down my neck and not in a metaphorical sense.
“So, we’ve been spending time together, getting to know one another, in case we need to pull off this ‘married’ act in front of a judge. It started low-key, sharing stories and trading quips, and we successfully gave our depositions at the downtown station. None of the officers seemed to suspect anything.
“But after a while, seeing Piper stopped feeling like the means to an end. Somewhere along the line, it started to feel like a beginning.”
My stomach twists as I say the words, admitting them aloud, and also to myself, for the first time. A wave of nausea tumbles through me as Kyle and I stare at each other, two emotionally stunted men trying to talk feelings over cheap Mexican food.
Kyle leans back in the booth, stretching an arm over the curved back. “Okay. I agree this is a complicated situation.”
“Told you.”
“But I still don’t understand why having feelings for her is a problem. So what if your make-believe relationship turns real? Sounds like it might make things easier.”
“It’s a problem because I’m not good for her. I keep telling myself I could be—that if I’m helpful enough or attentive enough she won’t realize I’m just like the ex that destroyed her a few years back. Do you remember Henry Sierra? The guy from Fundament who was caught embezzling money?”
Kyle’s eyes grow wide as he starts piecing the story together.
“Yeah, him. He dated Piper for years thinking she’d cover for him because she’s nothing but heart. When the whole scheme blew up, aftershefound the error in the books and reported it, Henry berated her in front of the whole team and then left her. She never went back to work after that.”
Kyle is incredulous, his body perfectly still as I relay this story. Pressure rises in my chest, pressing angrily against my sternum. If the bastard walked in right now, I would deck him in a heartbeat.
“Okay but listen,” Kyle says. “It’s not like you’re going to use her, shame her publicly, and dump her like Sierra did. You have integrity. You might hurt Piper at some point, sure, but we all hurt people we care about, even unintentionally. You’re nothing like that asshat.”
Kyle smiles sheepishly at the waitress who appears with our food, the word “asshat” hanging in the air as we all exchange glances. We thank her profusely.
“While I appreciate the compliment, this whole scenario feels too close for comfort.” I pick at the fajitas with my fork, pushing around limp slices of bell pepper as I talk.
“Her life fell apart because a guy pretended to be something to her, knowing it could impact her heart and her job, and he did it anyway. Sound familiar?I’mpretending to be something to her.I’mrisking her heart. And now it’s clearI’mimpacting her job.
“I made her late for an important meeting last week because she slept over at my place. And Saturday? One of her donors said something about us that wasn’t true and the discomfort it caused her cast a shadow over an otherwise wonderful night.”
