Page 34 of Untangled
“I’m sure they’d appreciate an Amazon review,” I say, sitting catty corner to him on the couch. “Do you want to risk that someone sees your review, though? What if they use your quote in social media ads? ‘Best sex of my life,’ Daniel H., age 32.”
“If that’s my legacy, so be it. Print it on my headstone and in my obituary, and bury me with a smile on my face.” He lifts his beer in a mock toast before taking a sip.
“It has been good, hasn’t it?”
“So fucking good, Molls. All of it. Not just the sex, but also being excited about each other again. Talking through the hard shit. Thinking about the future,” he says.
“Fully agree. Thank you for leaning in with me. I didn’t have a plan B if you would’ve scoffed at the idea.”
“In that case, you should’ve put all the sexy cards on my pillow with a post-it note saying NO or SORRY on each one. Really make me feel the pain of what I could’ve had, you know?”
“I think about that a lot,” I reply.
His quirked eyebrow has me backtracking. “Not about a scheme had you said no, but the what ifs. What if I never saw the ad? What if I hadn’t been awake in the middle of the night and desperate enough to clickBuy? What if I’d chickened out instead of asking you to do this with me?” Bile rises in my throat, choking at the words.
“It happened exactly like it was supposed to. But you know what?”
“What?”
“I think we would’ve found our way back eventually, even without the challenge. Maybe it would’ve taken longer, or been a bit more painful, but we would’ve figured it out. I think, at least,” he says.
“Maybe, maybe not. I’m glad we don’t have to find out.”
He sets his bottle on the coffee table and reaches for my feet, bringing them to his lap and warming them with the grasp of his palms.
“I didn’t know what to expect when we started this,” he says. “I thought it was going to be some sort of woo-woo feelings stuff like love languages.”
“There’s nothing wrong with love languages!” I interject.
He raises his hands in front of his chest with a laugh. “I know, I know! I’m just saying, I didn’t expect this to be fun. I thought it would feel like work, because we had—and still have—a lot of work to do to build the marriage and family we want. But doing these prompts with you has been so much fun. Thank you for encouraging us to do it.”
The praise goes down easy, like a cold water on a hot day, satisfying the part of me that loves to be right. “Thank you for doing it with me.”
“You really have been incredible. Do you know that?” he asks.
“In bed? Yes. You’re welcome,” I joke, and his hands are back on my feet, running a tickly finger straight up the sole while I yelp.
“I’m serious. I mean, yes, in bed—holy shit—but also your commitment to this experience. I know you’re worn down by the end of the day from Violet and all of your other responsibilities, but each night you’ve still been all in on whatever the card asks. Watching you fight for us? I want to fight just as hard.”
“You have been. Every night, you’re more eager than I am to jump into the unknown. You haven’t shied away from any of it. Opening up about your dad? I know how hard that was for you, and you were brave—not just for me, but for us. Your vulnerability is a gift, Dan. And we are so lucky to have it. Please keep sharing it.”
He blinks and sniffs and shakes his head to fight back the emotion rising in his chest. “Okay, yes, thank you. But can that be enough for tonight? These talking cards are…” he blows through his lips, trilling instead of finishing the thought.
“Knowing this won’t be the last conversation, because having these talks is something we do now? Yes, we can be done.”
He clears his throat, then says with a grin, “Maybe tomorrow will be another spicy card. I’m digging this every-other-day thing. Both my soul and my dick appreciate the day in between to recover.”
“I bet tomorrow’s spicy. And we can keep this up, you know, even when the cards are done.”
“My soul and my dick are in full agreement with that plan. Sign us up,” he says on a laugh, while reaching for my shoulder and pulling me to him, to fit me alongside his body. Our muscles mold by memory, by heart.
“Me too. I want more of this.”
“This is the right thing to want more of.”
Day 22
Connect outside the bedroom.
