Page 115 of New Growth
“No. Don’t ‘peanut’ me. You lied to me.” I shook my head, stepping back.
I didn’t even want to be near him right now.
“You looked me in the face and told me you were taking this seriously, but you aren’t.”
“Elliot, I am taking it seriously!” he insisted. “I just got caught up in work and lost track of time. I didn’t think it was a big deal—”
My breath caught.
“Not a big deal?” My voice wavered, but I didn’t care. “You could’ve passed out, El! You could’ve died! And I would’ve just walked in here thinking everything was fine, only to find you unconscious! Or worse!”
His jaw tightened. “It’s not like that—”
“It is like that!” My chest heaved. “It is because this is your life we’re talking about! And instead of just telling me the truth, instead of letting me help, you lied! Do you know how fucked up that is? Do you know what that feels like?”
His expression softened, but I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want his excuses. I wanted him to get it.
“I already lost my father,” I whispered, my voice raw as I held myself up by my torso. “I can’t—I can’t—do this again. I can’t.”
“Ellie.” He reached for me, but I pulled away.
“Just. Eat something,” I commanded. “Take your insulin. And don’t ever lie to me again.”
“Ellie, please stay,” he begged.
“I can’t, El. I just can’t.” Then I turned and left.
When I got home, I didn’t even go to my own room. I went straight to Esther’s room, where she sat on the bed, giggling on the phone.
When she saw me, she paused. “Ellie? I thought you were staying with your mom this weekend.”
I shrugged and dropped on the bed. “Change of plans.”
“Ellie? Ellie, what happened?”
I ignored her, crawled under the covers, and bawled until exhaustion took me under.
Denial.
“Getyourassoutof that bed.”
Esther’s voice cut through my half-asleep haze like a damn airhorn. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. “Leave me alone.”
“I’m not repeating myself.”
I rolled over, turning my back to her, hoping she’d take the hint and disappear.
“Girl, do you think I’m playing with you?”
“I said leave me alone, Esther.” I snapped, my voice muffled by the pillow.
“Who the hell are you yelling at?” she shot back. “You’ve been in this bed all damn day. Get up!”
I sat up just enough to glare at her. “What’s your problem?”
“You. At the moment.”
“You two are being very loud.”
