Page 129 of New Growth
“I wish,” he said. “She stayed perfectly still, waiting for it to leave. But then it bumped the boat.”
“What did she do?”
El smirked. “She smacked it with the oar.”
I stared at him. “Say you swear.”
“I swear, this is what they told me. According to my dad, she told him if it was gonna tip her over, she was taking it down with her. Apparently, she hit it hard enough to startle it, and it swam off. She got back to shore, walked home like nothing happened, and fried that damn fish at three in the morning.”
I blinked at him, then chuckled. “Your mother was a menace.”
“That’s what I’ve been told,” he said, laughing under his breath.
“Jesus,” I muttered, shaking my head.
El turned to look at me, his expression softer now. “Your turn. Tell me something about your dad.”
I exhaled, flopping back onto the pillow. “Where do I even start with that man?”
El shifted to his side, propping his head up with his arm, waiting. His expression was patient, as if he could lay there all night and just listen.
“Anywhere you want,” he said simply.
I thought for a moment, then smiled. “Alright then. When I was a kid, my dad used to let me sit on his lap and ‘drive’ the car.”
El’s lips quirked up. “That’s illegal.”
“Obviously,” I snorted. “But we lived in the countryside, barely any traffic. He’d take me out early in the morning when the roads were empty. I’d sit on his lap, gripping the wheel like I was a NASCAR driver, and he’d control the pedals.”
El chuckled. “Sounds like something my dad would’ve whooped my ass for.”
“Oh, Ma would’ve killed the both of us if she found out. But we never got caught.” I laughed softly. “One day, though, I got bold. Thought I was a pro and told him to let me steer without his help. And his crazyass actually let me do it, just let go of the wheel like, ‘Alright then, go ahead’.”
El raised a brow. “And?”
I groaned. “And I panicked and almost drove us into a damn ditch. Not just any ditch, the ditch where the farmer next door threw out his old manure. He grabbed the wheel last second, turned to me all calm, and said, ‘Lesson number one, Elliot—know when you’re in over your head.’”
El laughed, deep and low. “Smart man.”
“Yeah. He was.” My smile faded a little. “After that, I never wanted to drive again. He must’ve realized that I felt bad about it because he took me to the big orange tree on the field and let me climb to the top. Daddy wanted boys, so he always let me do tomboy shit.”
“Obvious by the name choices.” El joked, earning a playful slap on his arm from me. He studied me for a second before he asked, “What was he like? Outside of being a law-breaking driving instructor?”
I laughed, but the sound was softer now. “He was… kind. Gentle, but firm. Never raised his voice unless he had to. He was the kind of person that made you feel safe. Like, no matter what was happening, as long as he was there, everything would be okay.” I swallowed. “And then one day, he just wasn’t there anymore.”
Suddenly, silence washed over me. El didn’t rush to fill it. He just reached over, took my hand, and squeezed.
I blinked rapidly, forcing the sting in my eyes away.
“It doesn’t get easier,” I admitted. “Everyone says it will, but they’re lying. You just get better at hiding it.”
El nodded, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand.
“Yeah.” His voice was quiet. “I know.”
And he did. I could see it in his face.
We stayed like that for a while, just existing in each other’s space, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t carrying my grief alone.
