Page 155 of New Growth
He got closer to me.
“I don’t regret letting you please yourself on me,” he said bluntly, eyes locked onto mine. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the blushing, but he wasn’t done. “I don’t regret crashing that stupid-ass double date. I don’t regret sleeping in your bed every night. I don’t even regret drinking your coffee that morning.”
I sucked in a shaky breath as he went on.
“And I definitely don’t regret saying this now. I’m in love with you, Elliot.”
I didn’t realize I was staring until he leaned down, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to my forehead. Then, my cheek. And finally, my lips.
“Say something,” he murmured against my mouth.
I exhaled shakily. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
You.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
He stilled for a moment. “Tell me it isn’t because of my health.”
“No,” I said quickly.
“Are you scared my illness will be an issue for us?”
“No, Elliot,” I said again, firmer this time.
His lips brushed over my neck. “Then what are you scared of, Ellie?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “You were right this morning. My body isn’t ready for things to go further.”
He planted a soft kiss on the curve of my neck.
“You know what else I said this morning? I want us to work. I want you. I can’t think about anyone else but you. I don’t want anyone else but you and if that means I have to wait, then I’ll wait, Ellie.”
I blushed furiously. “El—”
He leaned in, his breath hot against my ear.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears welled in my eyes before I could stop them. They slipped down my temples, pooling in my ears. Elliot pulled back, his thumb brushing them away.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I just—I needed to hear you say it.”
He softened, his fingers tracing my cheek. “I understand. I’ll say it as many times as you need me to. I want you to feel safe.”
I inhaled shakily. “I do feel safe.”
My mouth brushed his, just barely and he answered with a kiss that had no room for hesitation. His taste was already familiar, but something about the way he kissed me now made my toes curl. I felt…like nothing I could describe. This feeling was new and electric and curled in my abdomen slowly.
“Is this okay?” he asked as he pulled away slightly.
I nodded so fiercely, I was surprised my head didn’t pop off. “Yes, yes, it’s perfect.”
He smiled against my mouth and leaned in for more. I followed his lead, hands wandering from his shoulders, to his chest, then his stomach. When my hands skimmed under his shirt, his breath caught.
“Ellie,” he whispered, voice wrecked with want.
