Page 159 of New Growth
But the more I wanted, the more dangerous this became. Because nothing this good ever lasted. And losing him—losing this—would hurt far worse than any insecurity I ever had.
I woke up to his voice pulling me from that nightmare.
“Ellie, baby, wake up. I gotta go.”
I blinked against the early morning light filtering through my curtains, my body still tangled in the warmth he was providing beneath me. My head turned toward the clock.7:39 a.m.
“Already?” My voice was thick with sleep.
“I know, it’s early. But I have to tie up some loose ends at work.”
I frowned but climbed off his chest, immediately missing the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath me. He sat up and moved with practiced ease, grabbing his clothes from the floor and slipping them on. I admired the way his muscles flexed and the way his back tensed as he pulled on his shirt. I drank in each movement like it was something I needed to commit to memory.
“I might be really busy today,” he said as he fastened his sweat's drawstring, “but I’ll try to call when I can, okay?”
“Okay.”
I didn’t even try to mask the disappointment in my voice. He caught it instantly, pausing to shoot me a reassuring smile before leaning down to press a kiss against my lips.
“Don’t pout, I’ll see you tonight,” he reassured. “Walk me out?”
I nodded and followed him downstairs, the cool morning air slipping through the door as I pulled it open.
“Promise you’ll call?” I asked, lingering in the doorway as he turned to face me.
“Of course, I’ll call,” he said, his voice warm with amusement. He tilted his head slightly, eyes roaming over my face with that same intense, all-consuming look that always made my breath hitch. “Thank you for such an amazing night, Peanut. I don’t know how I’m gonna focus on work today.”
I blushed, looking away slightly.
He smirked. “I’m sorry I gotta leave so early but I’ll make it up to you. Have a good day at work. I love you.”
“You too,” I murmured.
His smirk deepened as he leaned against the doorframe, watching me like he knew exactly what he was doing. “Me too… as in, have a good day? Or me too… as in love?”
I opened my mouth to respond and stumbled over the words. His quiet laugh sent warmth curling down my spine. He kissed my cheek, lingering for just a second before pulling away.
Then he climbed into his car and was gone.
I locked the door behind him and padded back upstairs, slipping beneath the covers. But sleep never came.
The bed still smelled like him. The warmth of his body still lingered on the sheets, teasing me, taunting me. I exhaled sharply, fingers trailing between my legs and into my panties, seeking what only he could give me. But it wasn’t the same.
When my alarm went off, I stayed there for a while, staring at the ceiling. Eventually, I forced myself up and went to the kitchen, finding Esther perched at the counter with a steaming cup of coffee.
She looked up, eyes immediately scanning the space behind me. “Where’s El?”
“He left already.”
“Damn. So early?”
“Yup.” I tried not to pout, but I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Her gaze narrowed. “Oh my God. Did you two hook up?”
“No,” I lied too quickly. Because it’s an unwritten rule in female friendships—you never admit when your best friend was right.
Esther took a slow sip of her coffee, smirking over the rim. “Liar. I can feel the heat from over here.”
