Page 18 of New Growth
I blinked at her.
Huh.
Funnily enough, when I agreed to this lunch date with my mother, I expected some level of defense for this situation. I mean, she was Ryan’s mother too after all, but blind loyalty only enabled bad behavior.
How long before Ryan hurt someone else? I was her sister, and she had no problem betraying me. Who was next in her possible line of fire?
“Are you serious right now?” I demanded.
“Of course, I’m serious,” she said, her tone weary, the same patronizing one she’d used on me since childhood. “You’ve been holed up for weeks now, wallowing in this, instead of dealing with it. That’s not like you, Elliot.”
The words stung more than they should have, but I didn’t let it show.
“There’s nothing to deal with, Ma. The engagement is off, and I don’t want anything to do with Jonathan or Ryan right now.”
Her eyebrows shot up, disapproval flickering across her face. “So you’re just going to throw away eight years with Jonathan over one mistake? And what about Ryan? She’s your sister, Elliot.”
I massaged my temples, feeling this conversation already giving me a headache. “I said I don’t want to talk about this, Ma.”
“Well,Iwant to talk about it,” she said firmly, making me sit up straight. “I will not be put in the middle of this senseless divide.”
“No one is putting you in anything, and no one is making you choose sides,” I clarified, my voice steady. “Honestly, this has nothing to do with you.”
“It haseverythingto do with me when I have to deal with Ryan screaming around the house all damn day. You are the more reasonable one, Elliot. Stop avoiding the situation and face it head-on like your father and I taught you.”
The mention of my father made my throat tighten. I reached for my water glass, masking the ache in my chest. “I’m not avoiding anything. I just need time to figure out what’s next for me.”
“Well, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk about,” she said, her tone softening into that falsely sweet tone that always put me on edge. “What are your plans for the money?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not sure yet. Why?”
“Check the attitude, young lady.” She fixed me with a cold stare. “I’m just checking to see if you’re making the right decision. It’s a lot of money to play with.”
That was a lie. She wanted to be involved in my decision-making for the money. Still, I answered honestly: “I’m not playing with anything. I’m working out the best option for me, whether that be taking it and investing in my own life or using it to start over.”
She waved her hand like she was fanning my ridiculous ideas away. “Starting over? That’s not what you need right now, Elliot. You need to sit down with Jonathan and Ryan and discuss things like adults. That’s the only way to move forward.”
I set my glass down carefully. As expected, she completely disregarded what I said about my own needs. Her focus was reconciling, and she was happy to sacrifice my comfort for the sake of her own.
“Talking isn’t going to change anything,” I pressed. “Not with them alone, anyway. Maybe we could get more help talking to a professional.”
She waved a dismissive hand again. “You’re being dramatic. This is not a matter for other people; it should be fixed within the family.”
“Fixed?” I repeated, laughing bitterly. “The word you’re looking for isignored, Ma. You want me to pretend nothing happened, so everyone else can stay comfortable and we can look happy. That’s not the same thing.”
That made her sit up, letting me know there was some truth to what I said. It didn’t matter though, because Katherine Sawyer was not going to let her child call her out on her hypocrisy.
“No, I’m trying to get you through this with your dignity intact.”
I narrowed my eyes at her false savior complex. “I think you’re worried about the wrong daughter,” I stated flatly.
“Now you’re just being spiteful,” she said, her expression hardening. “I raised you better than that.”
I clenched my fists under the table, forcing myself to take a steadying breath. “Can we talk about something else? Please? Anything but this.”
“Fine.” She gave me a tight smile, the kind that wasn’t really a smile at all. “What have you been up to these last few days, then?”
I hesitated, unsure if I even wanted to share, but eventually, I said, “I’ve been looking into beauty schools.”
