Page 64 of New Growth
I shrugged, trying to keep my tone casual. “I have, actually.”
“Why?”
I met his gaze. “I’m curious about the type of man I’m getting involved with.”
His brow lifted slightly. “Worried I wouldn’t be a good partner?”
“No, that’s not it.” I studied him. “And stop avoiding the question.”
“Fine,” he sighed, rubbing his jaw. The rough scrape of stubble was audible in the quiet space between us. “We just grew apart.”
I gave him a flat look. “Seriously? Do you think that answer is going to satisfy me?”
“It’s the truth,” he said, his voice measured.
“Half of it,” I countered.
Something in his expression shifted, the air between us tightening. When he spoke again, his tone had an edge to it. “And it’s enough, Ellie.”
I caught the change immediately. The slight tension in his posture, the way his fingers curled into a fist a little too tightly—this reaction was different from when we talked about his mother. The previous softness was replaced with regretful shame.
“Okay,” I said softly, backing off.
He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck before shaking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s fine. I pushed.”
He hesitated before speaking again. “It’s just… It’s a long story, and I don’t think I can explain it all right now.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Well, now I’m interested.”
“Hm. You sure?”
I tilted my head toward the counter, and he followed my gaze, where the new barista was still fumbling with the espresso machine. I chuckled, “We’ve got time before the trainee figures out how to work the machine. Go on.”
A quiet chuckle escaped him before he leaned back in his chair, his expression turning more serious.
“Well, we’d been together since college and got married young. We were happy together for the most part. Then, I got diagnosed. I told her right then and there that I didn’t want kids. It was too big of a risk with passing it on, you know. It felt irresponsible. And initially, she agreed. Until our ten-year anniversary came around and she told me she wanted to start a family.”
My face pulled down at that reveal, and he laughed at that reaction.
“I know, right? I guess she thought I’d grow out of my stance. So she pushed. And pushed. And I got anxious about the whole thing, but she didn’t care. Eventually, I gave in, and we tried for months to getpregnant. But it didn’t work out. That frustration and disappointment built up, and we argued constantly. The marriage was falling apart. In the end, I had enough of the runaround and the constant compromising, so I did something drastic.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
His jaw tensed slightly before he admitted, “I got a vasectomy behind her back.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“El! What were you thinking?” My voice rose slightly, but I quickly reined it in. “I mean, I understand not wanting kids, but to have a procedure like that without telling her—”
He shook his head. “It was fucked up.”
“It was!”
“I know,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. “I wish I had handled it differently, but I was scared. I thought it made sense. Unfortunately, she didn’t see it that way.”
