Page 9 of New Growth
If this was me put together, I’d hate to see myself fall apart.
Truth.
TwoweeksafterDaddy’sfuneral.
I twisted a section of my hair between my fingers, my nerves unraveling with each loop. My scalp prickled under the tension, but I couldn’t help it—it was a nervous but satisfying habit.
“Elliot,” Ma hissed under her breath, leaning toward me. Her carefully manicured nails tapped against the armrest of the chair. “Stop that. If you mess up that pretty hairstyle, what will you do about tonight?”
Well, I was the one who did it, so it shouldn’t be a problem.
“I’ll be fine,” I reassured her as I let go of the curl I was toying with.
She took out her lipstick and began to paint her lips to mask her own nerves. “I swear, all that good hair is a waste on you.”
“It’s just hair, Ma.” I let my hand fall to my lap, biting back a sigh.Good hair. She’d been saying that for as long as I could remember, as if any other kind of hair was inherently bad. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew better. Ma was already wound tight, and I didn’t want to be the reason she snapped before we even started the meeting.
It was time to read my father’s will—a task I had put off for far too long. Not that anyone had pressured me to move faster. I was the one stalling, still drowning in grief and unable to face what came next.
The past few days had been a blur of tears, silence, and sleepless nights. I had quit my job on a whim, unable to endure another day of polite smiles and meaningless tasks. My apartment had become a tomb of stale air and unwashed laundry. Most days, I didn’t bother getting out of bed. I’d even come dangerously close to canceling my engagement party.
Jonathan tried to be understanding, but the tension between us had grown noticeably. I knew he would be disappointed if I called it off, but nothing compared to the wrath of my mother.
Throwing my life away in self-pity is one thing. But embarrassing her with a delayed engagement? Absolutely not.
Ma’s version of compassion was a swift kick back into the world, whether I was ready or not. So here I was, freshly showered and dressed in an uncomfortable pencil skirt, sitting in a stiff chair at the lawyer’s office, trying to appear like I had it together.
Tonight was the engagement party. I’d have to really put on my game face and appear like everything was fine. God forbid anyone noticed that I hadn’t fully bounced back from my father’s death less than a month ago.
The door to the law office creaked open, and Jonathan’s tall frame filled the doorway. We haven’t talked much today. Well, we haven’t talked much at all as of late, but this morning, he didn’t fulfill his routine morning check-ins. I decided to write it off as pre-engagement party nerves.
Strangely, though, Ryan appeared beside him, her face unreadable.
Well, this was new.
Jonathan’s hand rested on the small of her back, guiding her into the room.
“I stopped to get Ry on my way here,” he explained, his voice steady and pleasant as always. Then he glanced at Ryan. “Ryan, do you have something to tell Elliot?”
She looked at him for a second, her eyes filled with regret, though I was not sure why. Slowly, she stepped into the room. Her lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, I thought she might just walk past me without a word. But then she stopped in front of me, her eyes softening.
“I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been treating you, Elliot. And I’m sorry for blaming Daddy’s death on you. I was out of line.”
The words hung in the air, unexpected but not unwelcome. I searched her face for insincerity, but all I found was guilt as she continued to explain herself.
“I was just so mad at you, E. I really wanted to hurt you in any way I could. I wanted you to feel the anger I felt and fall apart the way I did.”
She looked to Johnathan for reassurance. The two of them shared a shameful look that confused me further, but before I could question it,she took my hands in her cold ones and squeezed. “I did a bad thing. Something that I shouldn’t have. And I am so sorry.”
Something felt off, but despite my better judgment, I pushed it down to keep the peace. Nevertheless, I made a mental note to comment on it later.
“It’s okay,” I said, though it wasn’t entirely true. “I forgive you.”
She gave me a weak smile before sighing deeply. Ma clapped her hands in approval. “Finally, the dramatics are over, and everything is back to normal.”
Yes, back to normal. I guess that’s what we’re calling this.
“You two have a seat. The lawyer should be here any moment,” she said, waving Ryan and Jonathan to the empty seats beside me.
