Page 99 of New Growth
Amonthlater.
I woke up with the world’s heaviest arm draped across my chest.Again.
Warmth cocooned me, his body heat bleeding through the thin fabric of my borrowed shirt, his steady breaths fanning against my shoulder. A deep inhale told me the faint scent of his cologne still lingered on the sheets.
Squinting, I registered theAre you still watching?prompt flashing across El’s TV, the only evidence left of whatever terrible detective show we’d started last night when we got in from the shelter. His soft snoring rumbled against my side, vibrating through me, and I realized—he was even closer this time. His chest pressed flush to my back, his slight morning wood nudging against the back of my thighs.
I’d say it was too close, but that would imply I minded. And I didn’t.
A sliver of sunlight forced its way through his blackout curtains, landing directly on my face like some divine punishment. I groaned, shifting away from the light and toward the alarm clock. 6:46 a.m.
Shit.
I had an appointment at 8:30, I needed to get out of here.
With a groan and a shove, I peeled myself from his hold, his warmth instantly replaced by cool air. His face remained half-buried in the pillow, and his hand still lazily stretched toward where I’d been.
El grumbled, his voice thick with sleep, eyes still shut. “What’s the point of an alarm clock if you’re just gonna wake me up before it goes off?”
“You shouldn’t have let me fall asleep in here,” I muttered, rubbing my face. “So it’s your own fault.”
He groaned again, rolling onto his stomach. “You looked peaceful, so I let you rest. It’s not a big deal.”
I swung my legs off the bed, planting my feet on the cool hardwood. “It is a big deal. We shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed anymore.”
El scoffed. “Says who? I’m comfortable, you’re comfortable.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point?” he asked, voice muffled against the pillow.
I hesitated.Because honestly? I wasn’t even sure anymore.
“It’s wrong.”
That earned an exasperated scoff. “It’s only wrong if you make it more than it is. I’m okay with everything we’ve been doing.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed off the bed, making my way across the room to his bathroom. “Whatever. I’m gonna go shower.”
Shutting the door behind me, I turned on the shower and finally looked at myself in the mirror. I almost screamed at what I saw.
An embarrassingly ugly bun that shouldn’t have belonged to the city’s best hairstylist. A faded Star Wars shirt El had tossed my way last night stretched slightly at the collar from being washed a hundred times. Boy shorts that had, at some point in the night, beencompletelyswallowed by my ass.
Yeah. I was getting way too comfortable here.
I stripped it all off and washed away the comfort, letting the hot water wake me up, burning through the haze of familiarity and reminding me thatthiswasn’t normal. It wasn’t sustainable.
We talked about it a few weeks ago when I slept over at his place after a night out. I must’ve drank too much because, at some point in the night, I decided to take off my shirt and spend the night in his arms basically naked. The morning after that, I told him we shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed anymore. He agreed, but it seemed like every time an opportunity came up allowing us to sleep together, he took it.
Sure, I should take some of the responsibility, too, but as the days passed, my will to fight drained as well.
Freshly showered, I got dressed quickly. But when I went to grab an extra blouse from the drawer El had cleared for me in his closet, I came up empty. Which meant I had to venture out in just my lace bra and trousers.
Sighing, I pushed open the door and padded into the kitchen, where El stood at the counter, making coffee.
He glanced up, and I watched his gaze drop to my chest slightly before he quickly turned his attention back to the mugs in front of him.
“Oh, so sharing a bed is too far, but walking around topless is cool?”
