Page 144 of New Growth
“No.”
His eyes narrowed. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
He kept on observing me, trying to come to his own conclusion. Then, once he completed his study, he exhaled through his nose. “Elliot, are you okay with this?”
“Yes.” I insisted, but my voice wavered.
His lips parted like he wanted to believe me but decided he knew better.
“No, you’re not,” he murmured. His fingers traced the bare skin of my arm. “You’re shaking.”
I swallowed. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Just… keep going.”
But he was already moving. Already climbing off me, stalking across the room, and reaching for something in his dresser.
I sat up in confusion. “El?”
He didn’t answer right away. He just turned back to me and handed me a T-shirt. Still confused, I took it and rested it next to me. Quietly, I watched as he stepped into sweats he had pulled from the same drawer.
“What’s wrong?”
He kept his back turned to me for a long moment before he finally spoke. “I’m not doing it like this.”
My eyebrows furrowed together.
“Like what?” I asked, my voice tight.
He faced me. “You’re drunk and scared.”
My mouth parted slightly. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. It’s written all over you, Elliot. I haven’t even touched you yet, and you’re trembling.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling suddenly exposed. “It’s just cold in here.”
“Liar.”
“I want to do this.”
He nodded. “I’m sure you do. And we will, when you can handle it.”
I exhaled sharply. “I can handle it.”
“No, Elliot,” he said, voice softer now. “You’re buzzed and looking to blow off steam. That might be enough for you at this moment, but it’s not enough for me.”
I couldn’t be more offended if he had slapped me across the face.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
El let out a shaky breath. “It means I’m not gonna have you like this. You’ll regret it in the morning, and it’ll be awkward. I don’t want that. When I have you for the first time, Elliot—” He looked at me then, something dark and certain in his gaze. “It’ll be when you’re ready.”
I rolled my eyes at his sudden chivalry, shoving past him as I yanked the T-shirt over my head.
“You’re so full of it, El. Where was this concern at the club? First, you want me, then you don’t—”
He caught my wrist gently, just enough to make me look at him. “I never said I didn’t want you, Elliot. I said not like this.”
