Page 30 of Vawn
Ret raised his arms. “I know nothing about being a dad. And Vawn tells me all the time that I’d never be able to handle Enif.”
Silence enveloped the room for the first time since Ret had arrived. Nothing but the hum of the muscle tube and the thoughts churning through my head. Too many thoughts, about my future, and what I really wanted.
I glanced over at Ret again. “Hey, how does one show they’re committed to someone else on Orez?”
“Committed?” He opened his eyes and glanced around as if I’d caught him dozing off. “Like what Xac and Qé have but with sex?”
“Yeah, that.” I nodded.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, normally it happens when we as alphas claim an omega. But, you’re not an alpha. I mean, you act like one sometimes but not in terms of claiming a mate. I guess you’d just have to live together. That’s what usually happens after the claiming takes place.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know how that would be possible if I was still a racer. There wasn’t exactly room in the dorm for Vawn and Enif. And the dorms definitely weren’t child friendly. Plus, it wasn’t fair to ask Vawn to move in with me on Orez when I wouldn’t be there most of the time. But wait, he was already living with Utahn.
I scratched my eyebrow. “Um, does that mean Vawn and Utahn are a couple, since they live together?”
Ret burst out in laughter. “No.” He calmed down a bit before continuing. “While some omegas have coupled in that way, everyone knows the two of them live together for convenience. They’ve been inseparable since they were babies, and, after Vawn’s alpha died, it seemed natural for them to live together.”
I nodded, taking in that information. I really didn’t know a lot about cultures beyond my own planet, only what the members of my team had told me. Heck, I didn’t know that much about my own planet, not having a family to teach me any of that.
“Um, how did Vawn’s alpha die?” It was something he’d never mentioned, and I didn’t want to bring up painful memories by asking.
“The mine he was working in on Dynam collapsed.” He glanced away for a moment. “Why are you asking about all this anyway?”
I swallowed, my heart racing. This was the moment I had to say the words aloud, what had been on my mind for a while now. “I, um, I want to show Vawn that I’m committed to him, but I don’t think I’m ready to give up racing.”
Ret nodded slowly. “Wow. I mean, I guess you guys have been seeing each other for a while now, but I didn’t think things were that serious since you’ve only been together, in person, like three times.”
“Yeah.” I brushed my hair back from my face. “I didn’t think I’d ever be in this position, but there’s something about your brother. I don’t understand it, really, but I know I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
Ret pushed open the door of the muscle tube then grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. “When I was little, I used to hear some of the elders in our community talk about a kind of union ceremony that used to happen when our people lived on Trid. I don’t really know anything about it, but I can ask my fathers.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yes, I’d like that. That would be great.”
Ret collected his clothes and tossed them over his shoulder. “I’m going to the steam room and then finding something to eat. Practice begins again in two hours.”
“Got it.” I nodded. “Oh, and, Ret, thank you.”
He shrugged. “I want my brother to be happy. That’s it.”
I wanted Vawn to be happy, too. And I hoped he would be with me.
Chapter Fifteen
Vawn
“And this is the button I press if I want to go super-fast.” Ret pointed to the bright-green button on his console.
My daughter’s eyes lit up then narrowed. “Why don’ you go dat fast all da time?”
“Because it uses a lot of power.” He picked Enif out of the cockpit and helped her climb down to the ground. “So, we only use it near the end of a race, to give us one final push.”
“Oh.” She raced to me and tugged at the hem of my shirt. “Daddy, can I see Ojo’s jet, too?”
I glanced over at my boyfriend, who hadn’t really said much since we’d arrived on Derinj. At this race, some of the spectators were allowed to visit the racers before the finals. And while my brothers had been anxious to show their niece and Utahn the jets they raced in, Ojo had simply given my daughter and me a kiss on the cheek and said he’d see us after the race. “Um, not today.”
I bit my lip as I turned away from him. I’d barely spoken to him in the last couple of weeks. Only voice calls. No video. And, even then, he hadn’t been very talkative. My chest ached when I thought about it. I knew my brothers would kill him if he was with someone else, but I’d begun to think Ojokun was tired of being with me. Growing up, I’d been told by classmates I was too much sometimes—Utahn said they were full of shit—but maybe I was. Plus, I had a kid. What space racer wanted to be tied down like that? I’d suspected he wanted to end things, but now I was sure. Especially since Utahn was getting more attention from Genj than I’d gotten from my actual boyfriend. Yes, after the race, I would end things so we didn’t have to keep going like this. I’d set him free and deal with the heartbreak on my own. I never should have thought this relationship would somehow work.
Holding Enif, Ret came up from behind and wrapped an arm over my shoulders. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just had a lot on his mind lately.”
