Page 11 of Beared at Christmas
“Really? Or did the ‘we’ you mentioned talk you into it? Don’t think I didn’t catch that. I hope he’s cute, and you’d better tell me about him when you’re back home. Hang on. Dad and Pops want to say Merry Christmas, so I’m passing the phone to them. Later, Ricky.”
I chatted with both my fathers for a bit, hoping Clara wouldn’t say anything to them. I didn’t need Dad and Pops on my case even more about finding another mate. Before hanging up, I promised them I would stop in for dinner when I arrived home, since I’d missed Christmas and two Sundays’ worth of familymeals. Then I put my phone away, ready to head to our new accommodation.
Brody had gotten back into the truck—after getting the key for the igloo—so quietly that no one in my family had heard him, which I was thankful for. Thanks to my slipup, my sister suspected something, but I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about him. Especially since I didn’t know what was going on with Brody myself.
So many times, I was tempted to touch him, kiss him, or simply fuck him. Especially when he’d bent over in front of me several times at the bathhouse. I didn’t know if he kept doing it on purpose, or if my suddenly active libido was reading too much into Brody’s innocent movements.
Either way, I suspected it might be a mistake to spend the night in the secluded igloo under the stars. I sighed as I started the truck. As much as a part of me wanted to drop Brody off then head back to the cabin, my bear told me to stay with him. Plus, I hadn’t sat out under the night sky without the dimming effect of the city lights since I was a teen.
Brody held up the key with a green corded wristband attached to it. “We’ve got it for the night. The guy at the desk said it’s at the end of the road, and that there’s a light out front we can turn off once we’re inside.”
I nodded, still conflicted about the whole thing, yet I was not inclined to turn around.
The trail—not even close to being called a road—to the igloo was much more rugged than the path to our cabin. If the truck hadn’t been in four-wheel drive, I likely would have gotten us stuck on the way. After a lot of bouncing and struggling to see the path, we made it, the only artificial light coming from a lantern sitting on a pole in front of the igloo. It reminded me of the marker at the North Pole from a Christmas movie I once watched.
At the igloo, there wasn’t even a parking spot to pull into. I simply put my truck in park and hoped I would be able to turn around in the morning without ending up in a snowbank.
I turned off the engine and we grabbed our bags before making our way to the igloo. It was truly made of glass, with multiple multicolored curved windowpanes fitting together to form the dome and the archway inside over top of a concrete frame. The entrance had been cleared of snow, so we could get the door open. To get in, we both had to duck, since it wasn’t meant for anyone our height. Within the dome, we had plenty of room. To stand. Not to sleep. There was only one bed. The same as our cabin. No other furniture or even room for either of us to sleep on the floor. Just the bed with shelving and curtains around it, a counter with a coffee maker, and some extra electrical and USB outlets. Plus, the tiny bathroom consisting of only a toilet and a sink.
I stepped back toward the entrance, positive I needed to return to the cabin. Right away.
Brody reached for my hand, tugging on my fingers. “Please stay. This doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want it to be. We can just lie on the bed and watch the stars.”
I clenched my fists, and my stomach twisted as I looked at his hand then up into his crystal-blue eyes. Could I just lie there and not feel anything, simply enjoy the night sky? And what did he mean by “if you don’t want it to be”? Did that mean he was interested in me?
Closing my eyes, I broke down the situation. Yes, I feared Brody’s immediate rejection. I also feared him not wanting anything to do with me at the end of the week whether something happened between us or not. Most of all, I feared the longing my bear had for him and what that meant. I didn’t know if my heart was ready to explore that idea, the ache from losing Raine still a bit raw.
Brody hadn’t once done anything to make me think he had no respect for my feelings. Maybe some of his movements were mildly suggestive, but I could have read too much into them, simply finding him attractive. Which was okay. All the sites for widowers that I’d visited over the last few months to see if my parents were correct in saying I had to move on—they weren’t—advised I be kind to myself when I did find myself captivated by someone else.
With a deep breath and a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes and nodded. “Okay.”
Since we’d eaten dinner before checking in, we took turns changing into our night clothes in the room while the other person used the bathroom. There was no space to change in the water closet, barely enough to maneuver around at all. The close quarters made it as awkward as the first night in the cabin.
Brody crawled onto the far side of the bed then patted the space beside him. “If I wanted to bite you, I would have done so already.”
My bear lurched forward from the inside at the mention of biting, and I stumbled onto the mattress.
Brody fell back, laughing as I struggled to right myself.
“Sorry, I…” Trying to find an appropriate position on the bed, I ended up lying on my back, the same as Brody. We would be looking up to watch the stars soon anyway. “I don’t know how to do this.”
Turning onto his side, Brody faced me. “Look, I’m going to be completely honest with you. I find you hot, and I’d be more than willing to be fucked by you.”
I gulped and closed my eyes, my own libido suddenly much louder than my bear’s.
“But…” He rubbed the space between us. “I can also tell that you are still grieving, so I’m not going to initiate anything. I have tons of respect for that. If at any time during this week, youdecide you’re ready for something, anything, I am willing. Just let me know.”
“Okay,” I whispered, not sure I could vocalize anything more than that. I wanted to cry at the idea of moving on from Raine with someone else. I never expected the first person to make me want to begin a new relationship would be human and so understanding about all of it.
Brody shivered beside me, and I glanced over at him.
“Are you cold? Why don’t we get under the covers? I’ll turn the lights out first.”
He smiled. “Yes. That would be good.”
I found the switch then was careful not to trip getting into bed the second time. As I got comfortable, I accidentally touched Brody’s fingers. Instead of pulling away, I left my hand there. His touch both excited and calmed me. And made me want more.
Chapter Ten
