Page 105 of When Stars Collide
“Oh no, it’s the fuzz,” Kirsten proclaimed. “Act natural.”
“It’s not a real cop,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“How do you know?” Violet asked.
I glanced at her in disbelief, expecting more from her than I did Kirsten.
“Well, for starters, we’re at a bachelorette party,” I replied, ticking away my responses on my fingers like my mother often did. “Also, his badge identifies him as Officer Dong Johnson; his handcuffs are fur-lined; oh, and his pants are assless.”
“She’s good,” Kirsten said, meaning to elbow Violet but hitting me, instead. “You should be a detective, like onNCISor something.”
“You two are either going to be the turning point in my life where I decide never to drink again, or the reason for my descent into the bottomless pit of alcoholism. I haven’t decided yet.”
“I have a warrant here for the arrest of Elle Sloan,” the hot, young, fake police officer said, holding a piece of paper in his hand with ‘Warrant’ scribbled on it in black sharpie.
“Yeah, you do,” Colleen called with Walter straddling her lap.
That must have been the bus driver’s cue to turn on the music, as club music began streaming inside of the bus, just as the lights dimmed and the LED strip lights mounted across the ceiling glowed bright red.
“Elle Sloan, I’m afraid you’re under arrest for being too sexy.” Officer Johnson punctuated his sentence by ripping off his shirt to a flurry of catcalls from the other ladies on the bus. If I hadn’t already known Elle had been faking her inebriated state, I most certainly would have figured it out now, as the horror on her face was evident when the not-a-real-cop shirtless stripper began gyrating his hips right in front of her.
“Where are you going?” Violet asked when I stood up.
“Elle’s drowning over there, and it’s my duty as the maid of dishonor to take one for the team.”
*****
Alex and I helped prop Kirsten up, while Elle walked with her arm around Violet’s shoulders through the lobby of the hotel.
“You girls are so great,” Kirsten blurted out, darn-near intelligibly, as she swayed to the left. When she shifted, the bulk of her body weight pressed against me, forcing me to take evasive measures to keep my knees from buckling.
“That’s just splendid, Kirsten,” I said, teeth grinding together. “Now could you do me a favor and stand up straight before we all go tumbling to the floor?”
“Sure, just as soon as I do this.” Kirsten grabbed the whistle I’d been given by Officer Dong Johnson and blew it directly next to my ear.
“Son of a …” I held my hand to my ear, causing even more of Kirsten’s weight to shift onto me. It was all I could do to keep my balance.“I swear, Elle. You’re going to be one bridesmaid short after tonight if that happens again.”
“Damn it, Kirsten, don’t piss Mena off,” Violet slurred.
“See, Kirsten. Now you’ve gone and done it and made Violet swear. I hope you’re proud of yourself.” Somehow, I managed to shift her off me and dump her onto Alex.
“It’s like someWeekend at Bernie’sshit up in here,” Alex grunted.
“Alex, has anyone ever told you you’re an amazing drunk?” Heels sliding a little on the vinyl flooring, I helped her right Kirsten to make her weight more evenly distributed between the two of us.
“Thanks, I like you much better drunk than I do sober, too.”
“We’re almost to the elevators, ladies,” Elle announced, needlessly stating the obvious. We still hadn’t gotten the chance to talk, which I hoped to rectify in the next few minutes.
“That’s good, because I’m a fraction of a second away from letting Kirsten sleep on the lobby floor tonight.”
“Psh … No you wouldn’t. You love me.” She ended each word she spoke by leaning more and more of her body onto me, finally finishing the sentence by stumbling forward and tripping me in the process.
As I stumbled, I abandoned Kirsten and Alex while I attempted to right myself. Unfortunately, the force exerted on me by Kirsten had been strong, and I’d built up too much momentum to stop myself short of falling to the floor. Right before I was about to go down, a figure appeared from around the corner, and I fell into them, instead.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “My friend has had a wee too much to drink and … Peter?” Aware that my arms were still wrapped around him after stumbling into him, I let him go and took a step back, smoothing out my tank top.
“Maid of Dishonor, huh?” He laughed softly. “That checks out, though I expected you to be the one being propped up.”
