Page 114 of When Stars Collide
“Elle, this is beautiful!” I turned my head to see Kirsten pulling a silver bar necklace from the box Elle had given to her.
“Geez, Kirsten. Self-control much?” Violet scolded, opening her box.
“Sorry, Daffodil. I didn’t know we were supposed to be opening them in some kind of order.”
“Hey, that’s Mena’s thing,” Violet admonished Kirsten, fastening the necklace she’d freed from her box around her neck.
I smiled, opening my gift to inspect my necklace, which was identical to Kirsten’s and Violet’s, except for one small detail. On the back of my bar, a message was inscribed:
My BFF. My Inspiration. My sister.
“Do you like them?” Elle asked. With the way she was looking at me, I suspected she’d caught sight of the dopey grin I was trying to hide.
“It’s okay, I guess,” I answered her, smiling. My haste to fasten the necklace around my neck obliterated all traces of the cool, nonchalant persona I was trying to embody.
Elle looked around the table at the five of us. “I wanted to get something to express my gratitude to the strong women in my life. You have each shaped who I am in some way, and I am eternally grateful for you all.
Across the table, Alex beamed, displaying a smile that stretched from ear-to-ear, something I assumed was a rarity for her.
Leaning back in my chair, I took in the excitement permeating the air around me, knowing that it was moments such as these that truly made it worth getting out of bed every day. Yet, in the back of my mind, a sense of dread was biding its time, waiting to pounce when I was at my most vulnerable. I had a choice to make. One that had to be made soon. One that, no matter the outcome, would inevitably hurt someone I cared about, and as hard as I tried to put that out of my mind, I knew that my internal struggle was making its way outward.
*****
Luke reserved a block of rooms at an inn two miles from Hargrove Gardens, the outdoor sanctuary he and Elle had chosen to host their wedding. I figured those rooms would be snatched up by guests from out of town, and that they would be the best place for me to stay and think before Phineas arrived. There, I figured I could have a moment alone to gain some clarity. I was wrong. After dinner, Luke decided that those of us in the wedding party would meet at the inn and crash there for the night, but not before heading to the inn’s bar for a pre-rehearsal cocktail.
“C’mon, Elle.” After only two drinks, Kirsten leaned across the table, her glassy eyes inspecting Elle’s glass. “You seriously can’t only be drinking water tonight. You’re getting maaaaaaaaried. You need to party with us one last time.”
“Because that’s how marriage works,” Luke added. “Once we’re married, I’m locking Elle inside of the house and throwing away the key. She’ll never be allowed outside again.”
He and Elle shared a knowing look that would have easily been missed by anyone who wasn’t paying attention—which basically included everyone. Violet was checking her phone, nursing her beer; Salvatore and Connor were well on their way to Kirsten-level intoxication; and Peter, well, I’d purposely tried not to pay attention to what he was doing. But I knew he wasn’t drunk.Like me, he’d only ordered one drink.
Geez, maybe you were paying more attention than you thought.
“Here.” Kirsten held out her drink to Elle, hovering it over her water glass. “Take a sip. Pleeeease.”
I pushed Kirsten’s hand away before any alcohol could spill into Elle’s water.“That’s not necessary. I’ve been secretly pouring vodka in her glass all night.” I held up my near-empty glass containing the Vodka Collins I’d ordered, taking my index finger and pressing it to my lips. “Shh … don’t tell her.”
“Oh.” Kirsten giggled. “You’re so bad, Mena. Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”
“Wh-What secret?” Elle asked, finally paying attention to what was going on between Kirsten and me.
“Notthatsecret,” I assured her. “She thinks you’re shit-faced.”
Elle furrowed her brows, shaking her head. “What?” she mouthed.
“It’s better you don’t ask questions.”
She nodded, turning her attention back to Luke.At a table full of people, I felt alone, which was okay, because considering everything that was going on in my life, I needed to be alone. I needed a minute, an hour, a lifetime to sort through things. The way things were right now, no sorting of anything was going to take place if I stayed here. It couldn’t. Not with him sitting across the table. As my thoughts turned to Peter, I looked up at where he was sitting, my face flushing when our eyes met.
Whydoes he have to look at me like that?
With a sigh, I lifted my glass to my lips. The drinks were blessedly strong, and I had the beginnings of a nice buzz going. One plus for this evening, I suppose. And perhaps, it was the vodka talking, planting thoughts inside of my mind I didn’t want planted there, but I began to wonder whether Peter was having a hard time, too. Whether he was torn in much the same way I was, whether he wished the floor would open up just so he could sink down into its depths. Curious, my eyes found him again, but instead of meeting my gaze, he was laughing with Connor about something I missed while lost in my own thoughts.
Why won’t he just look at me?
Yes, I was going crazy. And if I stayed at this table much longer, I would become certifiably insane. Dizzy with the flurry of contradiction going on in my head, I scooted my chair away from the table, cringing at the high-pitched squeal that erupted when the chair’s legs scraped against the bar’s tile floor. Ears ringing, damn near everyone at the table looked up, including Elle, who whipped her head back around in surprise. The only one at the table who seemed unfazed was Kirsten, who was about three swigs away from dancing on the table.So much for being discreet.
“I just need some air,” I said quietly to Elle as I quickly stood up to make my way outside.
