Page 81 of When Stars Collide
“I’m a complicated woman.”
“That’s an understatement,” he snorted.
I looked over at him, expecting to see him glancing back at me, his lips drawn together in a tight smile, the way he always looked whenever he threw a playful slight in my direction. But once again, he was transfixed on the story of Orfeo and Euridice, which had transitioned into its second act.
I’d never allowed myself to look at Phineas before the way I was looking at him now. Sure, I looked at him all the time at work, but I never really saw him the way others had. My feelings for Peter had blinded me, rendering Phineas’s appearance inconsequential in my mind. Now that my feelings for Peter had subsided over the course of the last few months, it was like a veil had been lifted, and everything that had been hidden by those feelings was revealed. Realizing that I’d been staring at him for an inordinate amount of time, I shook my head. My cheeks burned at my indiscretion, which, luckily, he’d failed to notice.
Close your eyes. Just close your eyes and listen to the music like he told you to do. It will keep you from making an ass of yourself.
I closed my eyes, taking in the second act through sound. Despite not knowing a bit of Italian, the music, the melody, the tone, the urgency, and the beauty created therein made sense out of the words I didn’t understand. It was all so categorically beautiful and breathtaking that the corners of my lips turned upward into a smile that stayed with me from a quarter of the way through the second to act, straight through to the end of it, when Orfeos was reunited with Euridice in the Underworld.
“It’s gorgeous,” I stated, opening my eyes.
“Exquisite, actually.”
I expected Phineas’s eyes to still be glued to the performance, but as I turned my head to acknowledge him, to my surprise, they were staring straight into mine. The intensity that was projected within them, usually reserved for whenever he was giving an impassioned speech from a lectern, was replaced with a hunger. A longing I could feel down to the marrow of my bones.
Everything told me to look away, that we were entirely too close to one another, that things were at risk of becoming awkward between us, but something was drawing me to him and him to me. It was a manifestation of the pull I’d felt toward him the entire night, and there was no denying now that he felt it, too. From out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his hand slowly making its way to my cheek before hesitating and retreating in the opposite direction. Phineas was never hesitant about anything, yet even the heat that had been reflected in his eyes mere moments ago had begun to cool, hardening into pools of conflict. If I didn’t act and act now, the moment we’d shared together would be lost, perhaps never to be found again.
My fingers reached out and brushed against Phineas’s hand, beckoning it on its journey. He didn’t require any further coaxing from me. Maybe that was all he needed—to know I desired him just as much as he desired me. Because in that moment, I did desire him. I desired him more than I should have, and my eyes fluttered closed the moment his knuckles lightly caressed my cheekbones, drinking him in. So gentle was his touch that I could barely feel him at all. Like a warm breeze, his skin softly grazed over mine, both calming me and driving me crazy for more all at once.
I exhaled sharply when his knuckles were replaced by his fingertips, moving from my cheek and resting on my jawline, where his thumb lightly traced the outline of my lips. Even with my eyes closed, I could sense that he’d leaned in even closer to me, close enough for me to absorb the heat radiating from his body. I opened my eyes to see his face inches from my own, our lips so close to touching that the anticipation of them doing so was painful. He had to feel it, too. The pain, the need to take things to a level neither of us would have expected our relationship would go. Still, I sensed hesitation. His willpower was impressive, far more impressive than my own.
“Phin,” I whispered, breathlessly, “kiss me.”
He withdrew from me, conflict burning in his eyes. But just like before, whatever was fueling his discord quickly dissolved away, revealing the confident, passionate man I’d come to know.
“Damn it, Mena.”
Before I could take another breath, his mouth found mine, our lips crashing against each other with a sense of urgency. His fingers traveled fervently from my face, entangling themselves in my hair, ultimately pushing us even closer together. He groaned as I parted his lips with my tongue, tasting him and a hint of the spearmint breath mints he always had on hand. As close as we were, I wanted to be even closer to him. No, Ineededto be closer to him. My body screamed for it. Without hesitation, I slid over the armrest, straddling his lap, never once removing my lips from his. The theater was dark, and our seats were tucked in the back corner, away from prying eyes.
Phineas’s breathing became heavy, matching my own as his lips traveled from mine, finding their way down my neck. Upon his descent to my collarbone, he lightly nuzzled my skin with his nose, leaving a scorching trail where his skin made contact with mine. He stopped just shy of the neckline of my dress, smirking as my breathing became even more labored. He knew absolutely everything he was doing to me was driving me insane, and he seemed to be enjoying every second of it. We were both caught up in the moment, neither of us aware of anything else that was going on around us. It was only us and no one else.
He ran his hands down the length of my body, coming to rest when he reached each of my thighs, where his fingers massaged my skin, pushing up the hemline of my dress. Dizzy with need, I undid Phineas’s tie and unbuttoned the top half of his shirt. My hands wound their way through the opening I’d made, feeling his body underneath my fingertips, cursing the undershirt he was wearing for coming between me and the rest of him. He was toned, that much I already knew, but the anticipation of feeling him ignited a fire inside of me. His lips found mine again as his hands continued to push up the hemline of my dress, his fingers sliding up my inner thigh. Phineas’s touch, so delicate, yet so commanding, did nothing to quench my thirst for more.
More.
It dawned on me then that we could have it. We could have each other. In our secluded, dark box where no one could see us, we could do just about anything together. With this thought weighing heavily on my mind, I removed my hands from Phineas’s shirt and trailed my fingers down to the button of his tuxedo pants.
His breath hitched in his throat, our lips parted ways, and he rested his forehead against mine. “Mena,” he groaned, barely able to speak.
“Phin,” I answered him, equally as breathless. I’d succeeded in unbuttoning his trousers and was about to work my way to the zipper when his hands left their place on my inner thighs, stopping me.
“Mena, we can’t.”
He stood up, lifting me with him and setting me down on my chair. Confused, I rose and pulled my dress down as he turned around to button his trousers and shirt.
“Okay, then let’s go back to your place.”
Sighing, he turned to face me. “No, Mena, I meant we can’t do this at all.” His face reflected nothing of what must have been on his mind. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
“What?” I asked, confusion and pain overcoming me. “Wh-Why? Did I do something wrong?”
He paused at the curtain separating the box from the hall. “No,” he answered me, turning back around. His expression had softened, finally revealing the pain he was trying to conceal. “You did nothing wrong. It was me. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let things get carried away.”
“So, you regret what just happened, then?” Humiliation overtook my confusion, and as much as I tried to fight them, tears were steadily forming at the corner of my eyes, though I wasn’t sure whether they were from the figurative punch to the chest Phineas had just delivered or from embarrassment.
“Mena, I’m your boss; and because I’m your boss, things have to remain professional between us. There can’t be anything more than that.”
