Page 88 of When Stars Collide
“You’re right,” Melissa acknowledged. “But it wasn’t because I wished any ill will to come to you. It was because Mom and Dad had put you on such a high pedestal that I … well, I was beyond jealous of you.”
“You were jealous of me?” I scoffed, taking a seat on the couch next to her, handing her one of the spoons as I pried open the pint of ice cream. “I’m sorry if I find that a tad bit hard to believe. Our parents doted on you your entire life.”
“Do you want to know why they doted on me? Because I’m their damaged child. They’ve never seen me as anything more than my heart condition, believing I would break into pieces right before their eyes. They put me in a bubble, only letting me engage in activities they deemed safe. While you were doing barrel jumps, I was taking a painting class, and we all know Bob Ross I am not.”
“You can say that again.” I took a spoonful of Ben & Jerry’s and shoveled it into my mouth. “Your trees were more melancholy than happy.”
“Thank God you could tell they were trees at all.” She giggled, opting to stick with the wine over the ice cream. “You got to play basketball and volleyball, be an active child and teenager, while the most strenuous thing I was permitted to do was carry my flute up a flight of stairs at school. Mom and Dad’s expectations of you were high, and although I understand why that may seem like they were being hard on you, I would have killed for them to believe in me half as much as they did—as they still do—you.”
“It’s a funny thing, perspective. The way it changes things. I always thought you were the golden child, and come to find out, you thought the golden child was me. It’s their fault, you know, Mom and Dad. They never should have acted in such a way as to make either one of us feel the way we did growing up.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
“If you drink any more, you just may end up in the doghouse like I am right now.”
“Maybe it would be for the best.” Melissa smiled, setting the bottle of wine down on the coffee table.
“You know, it’s a shame we weren’t closer growing up, because if we would have known how the other felt, we could have joined forces to become a real thorn in Marilyn’s side.”
“That would have been great.” I handed her the pint of ice cream after I caught her eyeing it in my hand. “I’m sorry, Mena.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Sighing, I slumped back on the couch, thinking to myself how different things would have been if only we would have known a decade ago what we knew about each other right now.
“Does it bother you, having to wait to have children? Maybe, potentially never having them at all?”
I shrugged. “Oddly enough, I hadn’t really thought about it before. Starting a family had never been on the forefront of my mind, until Peter introduced me to Jackson. Motherhood was thrust upon me when I was around him, and I tried. I tried to acclimate myself to the possibility of being someone’s stepmother, but I failed. I failed so hard that Peter broke up with me.” I reached for the ice cream, shocked to see a quarter of it was gone already.
Melissa shrugged. “It’s your fault. If I would have had a decent bite to eat at dinner, I wouldn’t be so hungry.”
“You got me there. But I’ll be damned if you’re getting this back.” I sighed. “To answer your question, I guess I never wanted kids of my own, until I met Jackson, and then again when I was told that it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to have them for a while.”
“We always want what we can’t have.”
“It’s probably for the best, anyway. You wouldn’t know this, but I was a mother once when I was five. Her name was Wanda, and she was the best goldfish a girl could ask for. But then my five-year-old brain thought it would be a brilliant idea to give Wanda a bath in the toilet.”
“Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. Mom told me that I couldn’t put the goldfish in the bathtub with me, but she said nothing about the toilet. So, one day I took Wanda’s bowl and dumped her into the toilet bowl. All was going well, then I slipped and caught myself, one hand on the toilet tank and the other on the lever. In a split second, it was bye-bye, Wanda.”
Melissa attempted to stifle a giggle, failing miserably. “That’s terrible.”
“Laugh up my misfortunes.”
There were so many things I could tell Melissa wanted to say to me, that much I could see in her eyes. She’d known me her entire life, yet neither she nor I ever knew each other at all. We were strangers with familiar faces finally becoming acquainted with each other.
“Mom was wrong about Peter. Obviously, I don’t have to tell you that. She thought because he didn’t have a college education, and instead, had a baby mama—her words not mine—that he wasn’t going to amount to much in life. To me, he always seemed like he had it together. He worked hard, provided for his son, wasn’t dependent upon anyone. Honestly, he kind of reminded me of you.”
“Really? How so?”
“You both seem fiercely loyal to your friends. Neither of you hold anything back—like nothing at all. It’s as if you have no idea what a filter even is.”
“I get your point.”
“What I’m trying to say is that you two seemed so perfect for each other. I was surprised when you ended things.”
I stirred the remaining ice cream. It had softened considerably and would soon be the consistency of soup. I’d tried not to think about Peter much, the pain still being raw.
“You care about him, don’t you?”
