Page 123 of When Stars Collide
“Mena, are you okay? You look like you’re going to hurl.”
“I just may, Jackson. I just may.”
*****
“Baby!” Amanda exclaimed, rushing over to Jackson. She plucked him from the bottom rung and hugged him tightly in her arms. “I was so worried.” With tears streaming down her cheeks, she kissed his forehead. “Thank God, you’re okay,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes and nose with the back of her hand. “Don’t you dare do this to me again!”
I raised my eyebrow in anI told you sofashion when Jackson glanced up at me from over his mother’s shoulder as I propped myself against a tree, slipping my shoes back on my blistered feet. In the background, Phineas stood leaning against an oak tree, keeping his distance. Our eyes met and he grinned at me, his handsome face beaming with pride. Returning his smile, I moved to take a step in his direction but stopped short when Peter appeared in front of me.
He didn’t have to say anything; his expression said it all. We were never at a loss for words when it came to each other. One of us always had something to say—a sarcastic quip, usually. But not this time. And we didn’t need to—our faces said enough, especially when I began to cry right along with him.
Shaking his head, Peter threw his arms around me, breaking our silence. “Thank you.” It wasn’t necessary, to thank me, and he knew it. But it was the only thing he could think of to say.
“I’m just glad I was right.”
“Me too.” He pulled away from me, our eyes locking with each other once more, until, with a parting nod at me, he knelt to take Jackson into his arms. With Peter out of the way, I could see Phineas again. He remained standing against the tree, but that was the only thing that remained. Stoic, he stared out into the forest, all traces of contentment gone.
“Mena, wait,” Amanda called out to me when I was nearly halfway to Phineas.
What have I done wrong now?
“Please.”
Phineas nodded at me, which I returned with a smile before turning around to address Amanda, who caught me completely off guard by how close she was to me. She must have been walking after me as she was calling out to me.
“Christ, Amanda.” I took a step back, clutching my chest.
“Sorry. I just … I—” She finished her sentence by doing the one thing I never would have expected: she hugged me. Dazed, I stood rigid with my arms at my side. Over Amanda’s shoulder, I caught sight of Peter. His mouth was agape as he ushered Jackson away, looking over his shoulder no less than a dozen times. To make things a little less awkward, I placed my arms lightly around her shoulders. Moments later, she loosened her grip from around me. “Thank you.”
“It was nothing. I just remembered something Jackson told me a while ago about where he likes to go when he’s feeling overwhelmed, and I made a lucky guess. Anyone would have done the same thing.”
“No,” she shook her head, “it wasn’t nothing. It was everything. Not just anyone would have done what you did. You took the time to get to know my son. You listened to him. You didn’t have to do it, but you did anyway. That’s pretty exceptional.”
“Yeah, well, I’m no mom, but I try.”
“You’re wrong, Mena. You are a mom. You’ve acted every bit the mom to him. I heard you up there with him in the tree stand. You care about my son; you worry about his safety; you want the best for him. If that’s not a mom, I don’t know what is. Look, I know that your methods are … unconventional, but in the end, our goals are the same. I didn’t see that before, and that’s my fault. But I see it now. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Th-Thank you.” As hard as I tried to hide it, my words came out just as choked up as I felt.
She nodded as she began to turn around, stopping herself to say one last thing. “He still loves you, you know.”
“I know.”
There was more she wanted to say, whether it was concerning Peter or Jackson, I wasn’t certain. It really didn’t matter. Because what she had said meant everything to me, and no matter what happened from here on out, I would carry her words with me to remind me that I am worth more than the voice in my head would lead me to believe.
Composing myself, I turned back around to meet Phineas, but when I did, he was gone.
*****
If there was one thing I could count on with Phineas, it was lively conversation, which made our silent ride back from the rehearsal all the louder. Granted, the top was still down on the convertible, rendering conversation futile at times. Still, it was unlike Phineas to at least attempt to talk to me. It was one of the many differences between him and Peter. With Peter, there didn’t need to be conversation. We just knew what the other was thinking. I thought it would be the same with Phineas, and in some ways it was. But not now. I had no idea what was going through his mind, only that there was something different about him.
I searched my brain for material I could use to start a conversation without it beingobvious that I was finding it a struggle to talk to him. Arriving at nothing outside of the weather or work, I opted to stay silent, deciphering his body language and the occasional glance he threw in my direction. Between this morning and now, he’d lost his spark. The boy who’d been giddy to get behind the wheel of a convertible had grown up into a man, jaded by the world and everyone in it, including me.
Without warning, Phineas veered off the road, pulling into the parking lot of a park I used to pass by all the time when I lived in Roanoke. The car’s tires squealed as he took the turn, the back end fishtailing on the gravel. A cloud of dust was left in our wake like waves on a sea. Underneath an elm tree, he found one of the few open parking spots still available, and with a sigh, he shut the engine off.
I loosened up my death grip on the door handle, exhaling the breath I’d been holding in. “Perhaps a little warning the next time you decide to go all Roanoke drift on me?”
“I would have had I known I was going to do that, myself.” He ran his fingers through his hair, which made me even more tense.
