Page 77 of When Stars Collide
Every ounce of me wanted to hit the delete button, ignoring his call like it never happened. What could he possibly have to say to me now? ‘Gee, I’m sorry to hear about your cancer. That really sucks.’ You know what, Peter? You’re right, it really does suck. It’s nice to know we’re on the same page about something. Still, there was a tiny sliver of me that yearned to hit the play button. A sliver of me that knew this may be the last opportunity I would have to hear his voice in an intimate, one-on-one conversation. That sliver just so happened to have the loudest voice, completely drowning out my better judgment.
“Ugh. Damn it,” I moaned, hitting play.
“Mena, it’s me. Peter.” He paused, and I could picture him smacking himself over the head. “I’m sure you already figured that out, so I don’t know why I just said that. Uh … I know I’m not the first person you wanted to hear from today, but I couldn’t not call you after I heard everything from Luke. Incidentally, it was completely by accident that I heard it. Luke didn’t volunteer the information to me because he knew you wanted to keep it quiet. But let’s face it, we both know Luke and Elle suck at keeping secrets. Oh geez, I’m rambling. Look, I’m just calling to make sure you’re okay and to let you know that if you need to talk to someone, you can always call me. I’d really … really like to hear from you. I understand if you don’t want to speak to me, but I just wanted you to know that it’s always an option. You’re strong, Mena. Probably the strongest woman I’ve ever known. And I know you’ll get through this and come out even stronger at the other end. I guess that’s all I have to say. I hope I hear from you. Good-bye, Mena.”
If my brain hadn’t already been a jumbled mess before listening to that message, it certainly was afterwards.Hearing his voice again tugged at my heartstrings, yet it also angered me. He had been the one to close the door on our relationship over two months ago, and now he was opening that door a crack. There was no cracking the door open. You either opened it all the way or you kept it closed. I wasn’t going to call him back, though I felt compelled to at least acknowledge him.
Me: Peter—Received your message. I’m fine. Thanks for checking. Please give Jackson a high-five for me.
There. The door was shut.
I set my phone aside. I’d been nauseous since shortly after arriving home, an after effect of the anesthesia. Except, until this point, it had been manageable. Nothing more than an annoyance. Now it meant business. Sore, I pushed myself up from the couch, slowly making my way to the bathroom. My leg was stiff, its mobility limited from the procedure to remove the lymph nodes from my body. I was happy I was alone, as I’m sure me hurriedly hobbling to the bathroom, still partially stoned and dragging my leg behind me would have made for an entertaining night to anyone observing the spectacle.
After what felt like a solid thirty minutes of travel, I reached the bathroom, all but falling to the floor and banging my head on the toilet.Of all the ways to go, that would be what would take me out. I erupted into a coughing fit as I willed my stomach to empty its contents so that I could feel somewhat normal again.
“Oh my God, Mena.” Jo’s voice appeared from the doorway. “Here, let me help you.” She knelt beside me, brushing back my hair and holding it in place right at the moment my wish came true. “I wish I could say this was the first time this week I had to hold back the hair of a woman with her head in a toilet, but alas, it is not.”
“Christ, Jo, it’s only Thursday,” I uttered between coughs.
“Mm-hmm. When you have as an exciting of a life as I do, anything is possible.” She fell silent, waiting for me to finish another round of bile eviction. “Actually, one of my co-workers is pregnant. I held her hair yesterday morning after I saw her make a mad dash to the restroom.”
“I guess they’re right. Not all heroes wear capes.”
“It’s a service I provide to all my friends.”
“Friend?” I asked, sitting up and leaning my body against the bathroom wall. “I thought we were just roommates.”
“For maybe the first two months we were—only roommates. But then I got to know you, and a funny thing happened.”
“You regretted answering my ad?”
Jo laughed, taking a seat on the floor across from me, with her back propped against the opposite wall. “No, I’ve never once regretted answering that ad. What I was going to say was that I began to think of you as a friend—one of my closest ones, actually.”
“That is truly high praise coming from you.”
“I know. I don’t just dole it out to just anyone, you know. You should feel honored.”
“I do.”
“I’m sorry for getting angry with you. You were only trying to look out for me. I realize that now. I’ve never had that before—never had anyone really give a damn. I guess I just didn’t know how to react, and I chose poorly.”
“You’re not going to hug me now, are you?”
“God no.”
“And that’s why I’m proud to call you my friend.”
“Okay, that’s enough of this heartfelt garbage.” Jo stood up, offering me her hand. “If you’re going to be all right, I’m going to turn in for the night.”
“I’m fine, but I’m just going to sit here for a bit. It’s been a long day, and I really don’t want to get back on my feet right now.”
Jo nodded. “Okay, but if you fall asleep in here and I have to pee in the middle of the night, I’m going to step over you and pee next to your head.”
“I wouldn’t expect any differently.”
“Goodnight.” Jo turned to walk out of the room, and that’s when I noticed something I hadn’t noticed until then.
“Hey, Jo?”
