Page 83 of When Stars Collide
My mom walked around the couch to meet me on the other side. She had a way with being able to overdress for any situation, and this was no exception. Her tailored trousers accentuated her envy-worthy gams the same way her button-down shirt perfectly flattered her figure up top. If she owned a pair of blue jeans, I’d never seen her wear them. “That is fantastic news, darling,” she said, giving me a quick side-hug. “I always told you to stay away from those sunbeds, but you were never one to listen to a word I said.”
That was also my mom. Sweet and sour, like my favorite Chinese dish. Over the years, she’d perfected the fine art of making you feel like she actually gave a shit about you, while also causing you to question whether or not she actually gave a shit about you. It was as impressive as it was irritating.
“You’re right, Mom, my cancer diagnosis was all my fault.”
“Now don’t get all dramatic on me. We’re only here for two days, and I want us to have a nice visit with each other, since the three of us can only be found together in one room on special occasions and holidays.”
“I suppose that’s my fault, too,” I sighed. “Curse pursuing college and a career. Who in their right mind would want to leave Ohio, right?” Neither my mother nor Melissa looked too amused. “All right. Since you’re here, what did you two have in mind?”
“We thought we would be coming here to help you with your recovery,” Melissa chimed in. “But you look great, almost like you haven’t had surgery at all.”
“Yes,” my mother added, “it’s a good thing you didn’t have real cancer, because your treatments and recovery would be quite grueling.”
Behind my mother, Jo’s eyes widened. She took a step back, uncertain whether she should leave the room or prepare to throw down with me.
“Oh, you mean like one of those internal cancers, like the kind that originate on an organ? Kind of like the skin … you know, your body’s largest organ.”
“Come on, honey, you know I didn’t mean it like that. Of course, you had cancer, and of course, it was serious. I just meant—”
“Mom,” I interrupted her before she could say something else insulting, “how about we agree that it’s a good thing it didn’t progress beyond stage two and call it good.”
My mother smiled. Her lipstick, bright red and clown-like, looked particularly ridiculous over her freshly botoxed lips. “Now that we can agree on.”
“So, where are you two staying?” I inhaled a deep breath, noticing Jo shaking her head in the background. “If you want, you can always crash here.”I didn’t need to look at Jo to know she was flipping me off.
“That’s very generous of you, but we wouldn’t want to impose. Your quarters already seem … cramped. We have a room at a hotel near the airport, which we should be getting back to. We’ve had a long day of traveling and … waiting for you to come home from your exploits.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you, then,” I replied, plastering on the world’s fakest smile.
“How about we meet for dinner tomorrow? Pick a place near here, and we’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“Splendid.” My mother turned to face Jo, who promptly straightened her posture. “Nice to finally meet you, Jo. Mena has told us nothing but interesting things about you. Seems like you two are getting along well.”
“Yes, Mrs. Straszewski. Thank you.”
I raised my eyebrow at Jo as I escorted my mother and sister to the door, closing it behind them.
“Oh, thank Christ they’re gone,” she said, exhaling. “Your mother is extra as fuck.”
“Extra pretentious? Extra bitchy? Extra?”
“Intense.”
“Try living with her.”
Jo shuddered. “You know, I think living with her may almost be worse than going home to visit my own parents. At least they’ve given up trying to convert me, or whatever the hell they call it. I don’t think your mom will ever give up on whatever it was that crawled up her ass.”
“There are multiple sticks up there. Look, I’m sorry. I had … quite a night, and my phone was off at the opera. How long were you subjected to all that?”
“Only about two hours.”
I cringed.
“Yup, that’s exactly how I felt, too. Your sister seems cool, though. Quiet, polite, and very straight as your mother felt the need to remind me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course, she did. That’s par for the course for her. Anything associated with me has never been good enough. Hell, even my cancer isn’t good enough for her.”
