Page 55 of EverGreene
“How do people live here?” I asked, rhetorically. “It’s colder than Jack Frost’s asshole.”
“No, it’s more witch’s tit cold. Jack Frost’s asshole doesn’tvisit us until January. You should know this. It’s your second winter here.”
“Yes, but I thought I was hallucinating it all last year, like it was some kind of fever dream.”
“Brace yourself for being cold until May. The North isn’t for the faint of heart.”
After our encounter in the elevator, were we really talking about the weather?
“I’m sorry if I was too forward in the elevator,” Loche said, probably sensing a need to circle back to the elephant in the Main Street Parking Ramp.
“And I’m sorry if I didn’t entirely hate the fact that you were too forward.”
He paused his walk for the briefest of seconds before catching back up to me with a couple, quick strides. “Beginning not to think I’m such an insufferable fuckwit, or whatever it is you used to call me?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said all that.”
“But you’re thinking it, right?”
I glanced back, rolling my eyes at him in response.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Whatever makes you feel better, Greene.” I clicked my fob, unlocking the 4Runner as we approached our vehicles. There had to have been some sort of cosmic shift because not absolutely despising Loche felt like I’d been kidnapped and transported to an alternate reality. But here I was, not hating Loche Greene, and even, what was this? Was I—smiling? Not only that, was I smiling a full-on, teeth-bearing, happy smile around Loche? That’s it, the apocalypse was imminent.
“Hey,” Loche called out to me before I could climb into my vehicle and ride off into the sunset. “Do you have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving?”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Thanksgiving. You’re going to be alone, right?”
“Wrong. I’m going to be eating an oven-baked pizza, sitting on my couch with Vinny.”
“Okay, so yes, then.”
“My turtle is far better company than most humans I’ve come across.”
“I don’t deny that.” He paused as though contemplating what he wanted to ask me next.
“Just spit it out,” I called out to him.
“Why don’t you come to my place for Thanksgiving? You can meet my roommate and my mom and not be alone over the holiday. I mean, unless you have plans with your boyfriend or family.”
“I have zero family, and I don’t think I’m at the take-her-home-to-mama stage of my relationship yet.”
“Great. Then you’ll come?”
What in the peanut butter fuck was going on here? I stared at him, blinking a couple of times before my brain began refiring enough to compose an answer. “Will Conrad be there?”
“God, no.” Loche snorted as though I’d just said the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “I don’t try to be in the same room as my uncle unless absolutely necessary. My mom shares my sentiment.”
“He gave you a job, right? Why do you hate him so much?”
“Why doyouhate him so much?”
“Because he’s a self-absorbed, self-serving, arrogant prick who cheats on his wife, has no respect for women, and is probably overcompensating for the shortcomings in his tailored trousers.”
“Yes. Nailed it. All of it. The latter part of it is an unfortunate bit of knowledge I’ve had the misfortune of overhearing via a hushed conversation between Kim and Shelby in thebreak room one day. Oh, and he’s also embezzling from the firm.”
