Page 70 of EverGreene
“I don’t know that I actually did know that. It just cameout.” And there was another lie to add to the hundreds of lies I’d already told Ever, either directly or implicitly.
“It came out pretty confidently.”
“I’m a guy. I was born with an unjustifiably high level of confidence.”
Ever chuckled. “Can’t argue with you there.”
I watched her out of my peripheral vision, hoping there would be no further follow-up questions. As far as evidence that I was V, a slip of the tongue about the turtle’s gender and a pair of red shoes were far from damning. But Ever’s brain would catalog these slips, keep them locked away with all the other fuckups from me.
Ever turned and reached behind her seat to retrieve the small canvas snack bag, pulling out the bag of animal crackers and opening it. She took out a pink frosted elephant and proceeded to bite its head off. “I forgot how good the frosted ones could be,” she groaned, an almost orgasmic groan that got my dick’s attention.
Great. Just what I wanted. A boner while behind the wheel of a car. I quickly tried to recover the images of Nix walking around our apartment naked to combat my burgeoning erection, but even Nix’s pierced dick was no match for the catalyst of my erection sitting next to me, periodically making sex noises. At this rate, my cock would be taking the wheel and driving for me.
But then the heavens opened up and smiled on me in the form of Ever’s cell phone ringing, which made her close the bag of animal crackers and set it down on the floor.
“Please tell me Vinny is still alive,” she answered the phone, telling me it must be her friend Katy calling. “Oh, thank god. No, I’m not overreacting. You’ll understand when you’re a mom. Yes, a turtle counts as a child. What? Oh, you’ll get over it. Yes, I’m being so for real now.”
Ever turned her head to face me, rolling her eyes. “She’s too afraid to touch Vinny’s dried flies,” she whisper-said.
“I’m talking to Loche.” Ever’s face turned red, and I never wished harder to hear a conversation more in my life. “Uh, yeah. So, if you aren’t woman enough to touch the flies, you can just pour a couple in the aquarium, but be careful not to dump the whole container in there because Vinny will eat them all. Jesus. I’m not fat-shaming my turtle. I’m just looking out for her. Yes, Vinny is a her. It’s been a whole thing. I’ll tell you later. Wait. What do you mean Vinny peed on Jesus?”
I couldn’t hold back the laugh at the absurdity of the conversation. Ever and Katy couldn’t be more different if they tried. A fact I observed as a casual observer at Katy’s party.
“Why are you reading pamphlets on the Catholic church?” Ever threw her head back against the seat like a parent who’d just found out their kid had broken a window while doing something they’d been told a million times not to do. “Not this again. I thought we talked about this. Yeah, he’s hot, but he’s also taken by the Lord. Look, Katy, I need to get going. Love you, too. Bye.”
Ever ended the call, dropping the phone in her lap. “Would you happen to have any hot friends I can set my friend up with so she gets a grip?”
I have two, actually, but there’s no way in hell I’m doing that to Katy.
“Not that I can think of.”
“What about that roommate of yours?”
“Nix? No, I wouldn’t recommend Nix. He’s a decent guy, but he’s not ready for someone like Katy.”
“Yeah, well, neither was I. But here I am. She’s so stuck on a guy she can’t have, and she’s driving me nuts. A priest of all people.”
Malachi?
“We always want what we can’t have, right?”
“What?” I glanced over at Ever. “What do you mean?”
“Katy and the priest. She only wants him because he’s off limits. At least that’s what I think.”
“Oh. Right.”
Ever picked up her phone and began typing out a message to whom I assumed was Katy, but the slight vibration in my coat pocket told me it wasn’t Katy she was texting. I hadn’t expected her to text V while we were gone. We were a little over halfway through our drive, and my gas gauge had started to dip low, so when we came across the next gas station, I took my opportunity and pulled in.
“I need gas. I’d use the restroom now if I were you, as there may not be too many more places to stop until we get to our hotel.”
Ever nodded. “I think I will.”
I placed the nozzle in the gas tank, positioning the lever to keep the gas flowing as I removed my burner phone from my pocket.
Just wanted to let you know I’m wearing that pair of panties you sent me.
Wait a minute. I sent Ever two pairs of panties. The replacement pair and—Holy shit. Did she mean THAT pair of panties?
