Page 40 of Huge Dynamite
Standing here like an asshole, I let her go. It’s better this way.
After all, what could a woman like that possibly see in a man like me?
Chapter Ten
Dynamite
“So, you just let her leave?”
Colt and I sit on a rock wall looking out over a canyon just outside Hoppa. It’s on the way to the high school we’re heading to. We’re going to work with some kids who need extra help with math. I go once a week or so, and today I decided to recruit Colt to go with me. It’s no secret I’m not so great at relationships, and maybe Nick is right, maybe I need to put in some extra effort. We’re in full gear—leather jackets, colors, chaps, and riding boots. The kids I coach get a kick out of the gear, and it makes them listen to me more. I found this school because it’s on the way to the area where we hold Music in the Desert, a huge live music event where all the ally clubs gather every year.
“It’s not like I had a choice,” I explain, looking at Colt. I should be on a high: I just had a great meeting with the construction company yesterday, and they’re supplying us materials at cost, so we’re about to break ground on the new clubhouse, but instead, all I can think about is Holly and how badly it ended with her.
“You could have stopped her.” Colt takes a bite out of one of the sandwiches we picked up on the ride out here.
“You do mean with my words, right?” Glancing at my sandwich, I let it lie next to me. I haven’t been very hungry since I said goodbye to Holly two nights ago.
“What else?” Colt turns to me with wide eyes. “Christ, Seth, this big brother stuff is getting old. I’ve made it to twenty-four on my own. I think I know a thing or two about how to treat a woman.”
Good. At least one of us does.
“I know, Colt. I’m just sorry I missed all those times you needed a big brother. I’m sorry I missed all those years with you, you know?”
“Well, what could you do? Not punch the cop who was arresting you? That’s not you, right, Dynamite?”
Picking up my sandwich, I stare at it and then put it back down. “All right, Colt. That’s twice now. Two days ago, when you were cut in that fight, you said I one-up you in everything.”
“That was a joke.” He stares out at the canyon.
“I don’t think it was. And now the cop remark? I get that you’re pissed and you hated living with our aunt and that your life sucked. But mine wasn’t any better. I’m sorry for everything I did to make it happen. But I didn’t kill Mom.”
“But you left.”
“I’m here now, and I’ve changed. I’m not letting my outbursts rule me. I’m in control. I don’t plan on missing one more moment of life because I’m Dynamite.”
“Really? Seems to me you just did.”
“What?”
“Why did you let Holly leave?”
“I-uh…” WhydidI let Holly leave?
“I’ll tell you why.” Colt turns to me. “Because you’re reactive. Being around you is like being around a walking time-bomb. Because of it, I lost my big brother, and you lost her.”
I don’t have to sit here and listen to this crap. Standing, I take my sandwich and, wrapping it up, I walk over to my bike and stuff it into one of the saddlebags on the sides of my Harley. There will be someone we pass on the way to the school who will need it. Maybe even one of my kids.
Throwing my leg over, I mount my bike and turn the key. Revving the engine, I yell to Colt, “You coming?”
“Yeah.” Standing, he tosses his empty wrapper in a nearby garbage can and hops on his bike.
Thankfully, bikes make it impossible to talk, so we ride in silence. It’s only a few more miles to our destination, and we fall into line the last mile as he follows me to the school. In the parking lot, we glide into spots next to each other, turn off the bikes, and hop off. Gathering my things, I turn and spot a man sitting by the road with a sign that reads, “Homeless and hungry.” Shit, that didn’t take long.
“Give me a sec,” I mumble to Colt.
Walking up to the man who’s wrapped in a blanket, I notice he’s sleeping, so I leave the sandwich by his side and sneak back to Colt, who’s watching my every move. He furrows his brow.
“What?” I ask as I make sure my helmet is stored safely.
