Page 87 of Huge Dynamite
“I don’t want you to stop being who you are, Dynamite. I just want you to be happy.”
Reaching up, he runs his hand over his head and then scrubs his face with it. “I didn’t kill that Dog, Holly.”
Nodding, I draw a deep breath through my nose. “I know.”
“Did the guys tell you?”
Taking a step, I’m closer to him. We’re so near now it’s like I can feel him even though we’re not touching. My breathing grows shallow. “They didn’t need to tell me. I mean, I didn’t know for sure then, when I ran out of the Unchained Dogs’ clubhouse, but I’ve thought about it a lot over these past few weeks, too. I knew in my soul that a man who felt that bad about not being there for his brother when they were growing up, a man who showed me the sunrise, who held my hand through my tattoo, a man who made friends with a kid in my neighborhood who needed a friend, and made love to me in such a sweet and gentle way, wasn’t a man who would kill when he had a choice.”
“But, Holly, you have to know—if he was going to kill you, I would have killed him first.”
Nodding, I swallow hard. “I know that. But that’s different, isn’t it? Listen, Seth. As an ER doctor, I’ve had a lot of time to think about these things. Sometimes, someone comes in—maybe a man—and I know he’s done something really awful to someone. I know because I’ve just treated his victim in another room. But it’s not my job to judge him, only to fix him. I’ve taken an oath. That can be really hard. But I’ve often wondered, if I was that woman who was attacked, or kidnapped, or beaten, would I think differently? Do you know what I discovered? The answer is yes. I am a doctor, but I have a survival instinct. I also would kill someone who was trying to kill me.” Sighing, I look into his eyes. “It’s not a bad thing to be Dynamite, Seth. Dynamite saved my life—in more ways than you’ll ever know. But don’t you see? Not killing that Dog means youcancontrol your outbursts and your urges.”
“Well, most of them.” Grinning, he steps closer to me.
“But, Seth.” Putting up my hand, I stop him. “We need to do better than petty fighting when we’re together. We need to stop assuming the other person is any certain way. No more ‘a woman like me’ or ‘a man like you.’ Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“Good.” Staring into his eyes, I smile. “Nice flowers, by the way.”
“Thought I’d better hand-deliver these this time. Just in case Robert pops in to help out at the clinic.”
Suddenly, it’s like someone turns off a faucet in my head, and all the happiness I’ve been feeling just drains out of me. I’m exhausted.
“Holly? What’s wrong? I was joking.”
“I know, but, Seth… I appreciate all the effort you guys put into this building, and I feel awful about it. I’m sure you saw the ‘For Sale’ sign out front.”
“But I thought that was because you were overwhelmed with the work it took to get the building ready.”
“It was. But it’s also because I was wrong to think that I could do this alone.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll run the numbers for you. Keep track of the books. I’d love to help out. I know the guys will help in any way they can, as well.”
A smile takes over my face. “Seth, thank you. It’s so kind of you, but financially, I’m in deeper than I thought. Even though I can carry it—even with the medical equipment—I’ll need to make connections. I’ll need staff and medical supplies. I did a lot of planning and prepping, but ultimately, I lead with my heart and not my head. I was wrong.”
“You’re never wrong when you lead with your heart.”
“Dad?” Whipping around, I see my father standing in the doorway of the apartment, smiling. In his hands, he also holds a bouquet of wildflowers. Just smaller. “What are you doing here?”
“Hello, Dr. Boling.”
“Hello, Seth.”
As Seth and my father exchange greetings, my head pops back and forth like a ping-pong ball. “You two know each other?”
“We’ve met over these past few weeks,” Seth explains. “Your father came here looking for you, so we started talking. I explained the situation, and he’s been helping us out.”
“Is that why the downstairs is laid out so perfectly for a clinic?”
Smiling, my father nods. “Holly, what I told you at dinner was true. I always knew you weren’t interested in coming into my practice with me. I’ve known it since you were a child, and you used to play clinic with your dolls. You’re destined for great things, Holly. Trust your heart and do them.”
My eyes ache as tears threaten to fall. Lifting a hand, I cover my mouth, fighting back a sob.
My father takes a step closer. “I don’t want you to move to the east coast, Holly. Please. Stay here and run your clinic. You know the hospital wants you to stay, and your clinic needs you. I need you.” Sighing, he takes a deep breath. “I know you’ve always thought you had to make up for George passing—that you needed to be twice as good and twice as successful, but I never wanted that. I just wanted you to be happy.”
Sighing, I turn to Seth. “George was my brother. He passed when I was very young.”
