Page 8 of Monk
“Gaslighting me won’t work, Spencer.”
“It’s hardly gaslighting if it’s a fact.”
I feel my insides twisting and turning being tied into knots. My eyes burn and my vision shimmers as I struggle to keep the tears that are welling up. For a long time now, I’ve kept my emotions locked in a box deep inside. But the lock’s been shattered, and now, everything is rushing to the surface.
The chasm that’s grown between us is vast. And I see now that there is no going back. There is no way to bridge it. It’s only going to grow wider and deeper as time goes on, and as unhappy as I’ve been for a while now, if I don’t do something about it, that unhappiness is only going to multiply. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my years feeling miserable and alone. I’ve felt that way long enough already.
“I want a divorce,” I state.
My eyes widen slightly as the words unexpectedly slip from my mouth. But as they do and I hear them with my own ears, I realize that it’s true. It’s something I’ve been feeling for a while, but never having the strength to admit. Not even to myself. Now that it’s out there, I realize how right it is.
“No. You don’t,” he replies, his voice icy.
I nod. “Yes, Spencer. I do.”
He closes the distance between us in the blink of an eye. He pushes me against the shelves that line the wall, and I cry out as the wood bites into my back. His forearm is pressed against my throat, the pressure of it starting to cut off my air.
“Stop,” I croak. “What in the hell is wrong with you?”
He presses harder, his eyes narrowing, a look of manic glee etched upon his features. Spencer leans closer to me, his warm breath washing over my skin, his gaze locked onto mine.
“You need to get this through your head right here, right now. I’m not going to give you a divorce, Kasey. You are mine. You belong to me.”
He pushes harder and I gasp for air. Dark spots hover at the edges of my vision, and I feel myself growing lightheaded. I try to speak, try to tell him he’s choking me to death, but the words won’t come out. I don’t have enough air to breathe, let alone speak. All the while, Spencer just stares at me, his face hovering scant inches from mine, an expression of malicious delight on his face.
And then, he lets go. My legs give out under me and I spill to the floor, gasping, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. It takes a moment, but the dizziness begins to fade, and I’m finally able to breathe freely again. As I look up at him, Spencer is staring at me with a look of pure contempt. In that moment, for the first time, I truly believe he can kill me—and will do so if I push him too far.
Twin tendrils of rage and fear snake coil around my heart, squeezing it tight I can’t move. It renders me speechless for a moment.
“I’m going to the office now, and then I have a meeting,” he says, his voice harder than stone. “And when I get back, I expect you to have this garbage out of your head and be fucking normal again. Do you understand?”
The disdain—bordering on hatred—I hear in his voice adds to the mounting pile of fear. Where has all this come from? Has it been here all along and I just haven’t seen it? Has me uncovering what he’s really been up to—laundering money for a drug cartel—exposed him for the monster he’s truly been all along? Have I uncovered the Mr. Hyde that lurks beneath him?
“You’re mine, Kasey. You’re always going to be mine. I won’t allow anybody else to have you. So, get that shit out of your head now. Do you understand me?”
I just want this to end. Want him to get away from me, so I do the only thing I can think of to end the argument: I nod. He stares at me for a long moment, then nods, a slow, feral smile creeping across his face.
“Good girl,” he says. “And get yourself cleaned up while I’m gone. I want you to look your best when I get home.”
He walks out of his office, leaving me where I’ve fallen earlier. And as I listen to the hard thump of his footsteps ringing off the marble floor receding, I’m able to take a deep, quivering breath and let it out slowly. The front door slams shut, plunging the house into complete silence and stillness.
I sit still for a long moment, fighting off the waves of emotion, but I’m soon overwhelmed by them and begin to sob.
***
“Yes, David, that’s exactly what I mean,” I say, switching my phone to my other ear.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
“I will be once I get out of here.”
I throw some more clothes into my bag, stuffing it all down to make it fit. I glance at the clock and see that it’s just past two. I don’t expect Spencer home for several more hours, but given how things have gone this morning, I can’t rely on that. He will be home any minute, and I know I’m obligated to be gone long before that happens.
I’ve given David a rough sketch of everything that has happened today, leaving out the fact that Spencer is laundering money for a brutal and violent drug cartel. Sometimes, less is more, and I don’t think David needs to hear the gritty details. Not yet, and not unless I have to tell him everything for some reason.
“How bad is it?” he asks.
“Bad enough that I’m escaping while he’s gone.”
