Page 5 of Domino
“This isn’t working anymore, Ryan.”
“What’s not?”
“This. Us. Our entire situation,” I tell him. “You’re not happy. I’m not happy. And it’s affecting Cole.”
“It’s a rough patch. We’ll be fine.”
“No. We won’t be. We’re not going to be fine if you don’t stop drinking,” I tell him. “And not if we don’t start going to counseling together.”
Ryan drains the last of his bottle and slams it down on the table. He looks at me with utter disgust on his face.
“Counseling? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”
“I’m not. I’ve been thinking about this for a while—”
“That’s your problem right there,” he interrupts me. “You think too damn much. You always have. You get these stupid, fucked-up ideas in your head, and you think about them, then talk to those bitches who wind you up and set you after me.”
I sit back, staring at him like he’d just slapped me across the face again. Getting him to go to counseling is the last hope I have to save this relationship. Admittedly, it is a far-fetched hope to begin with, but it is the last thing I’ve been clinging to. And now, he’s just ripped that away from me.
“So, you’re not willing to get counseling to save this? To save our relationship? Cole and I aren’t worth—”
“I’m not gettin’ fuckin’ counseling, and you ain’t goin’ anywhere, so just shut up about it,” he snaps as if that somehow ends the debate.
Strangely enough, I would have thought the end of things with Ryan would hurt more. But to be honest, what I actually feel is relief. As I sit there, I ponder what the next steps are and what the future holds. It’s a blank slate and I can do anything I want. I can go anywhere. I can finally get out of Erwin, Georgia if I wanted to. And I do. Very much so. I was born and raised here, but I’m sure as heck not going to die here if I can help it.
Ryan’s voice snaps me out of my reverie. Looking up at him, I see the twisted, angry expression that’s contorting his features, and it’s only then that I realize I’ve got a smile on my face.
“You hear me? You ain’t goin’ anywhere. And you sure as shit ain’t takin’ my boy anywhere.”
“Ryan, we’re over. Whatever we had once upon a time is dead. It has been for some time, and I think you know that. We should just part ways now and not let this resentment between us continue to build. It’s not good for us, and it’s definitely not good for Cole.”
“I don’t think you’re hearin’ me. You ain’t goin’ anywhere, and we ain’t splittin’ up. You got that?”
“Yes. We are,” I tell him. “This is over.”
He moves so quickly I don’t even have time to react before I hear the bottle smashing into the wall behind me. The spray of beer and glass rains down over me and then Ryan is on his feet, knocking the table askew as he rushes to me. The scream that starts to burst from my mouth is cut off by his hand around my throat, yanking me out of my seat.
The breath is forced from my lungs with an “oomph” when he slams me into the wall. The cold, wet beer on the wall is soaking through my t-shirt and sticking to my skin uncomfortably. Ryan leans close to me, his nose scant inches from mine, and the stench of his tobacco and beer breath washing over me in warm waves so thick, I have to keep myself from gagging.
“This is how it is. You’re stayin’ put. You’re gonna have dinner on the table when I get home every night, and the house clean. You’re gonna fuck when I want to fuck, and you ain’t gonna keep talkin’ outta turn like you are,” he says, his voice low and menacing. “You’re gonna respect me as the head of this goddamn household and the bread winner, as you should. And you’re sure as hell gonna put this stupid splittin’ up shit outta your head. You ain’t leavin’ me. You ain’t takin’ my boy anywhere. Now, you got it?”
I glare at him and lift my chin in defiance. “I’m done letting you scare me, Ryan. I’m done letting you tell me what to do. But most of all, I’m done being with you.”
My head is suddenly jerked to the side and pain erupts in my face as I hear the sharp crack of flesh meeting flesh. My cheek is hot, and it stings like hell, but all I can do it stare at him. Ryan looks somewhat startled for a moment as if in disbelief that he’d hit me. Again. But the expression quickly melts away, replaced by one of pure disgust and contempt.
He squeezes my throat, cutting off my air as if to underscore his point. My eyes bulging and the feeling of lightheadedness descending over me, all I can do is nod. If I hadn’t, he very likely would have kept going until I passed out. Or killed me. One of the two. The look of an almost maniacal glee in his eyes tells me that he’s lost control or is on the verge of it. And when he gets like that, there’s no telling what he’ll do or how far he’ll go. He’s unpredictable when he’s enraged.
Ryan stares into my eyes for another long moment and I see the darkness creeping in at the edges of my vision. He finally lets go of me, but before he does, he slaps me across the face once more. I fall to my hands and knees, choking and wheezing, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. Slowly, the waves of dizziness start to pass, and I retreat from the edge of passing out. He gives me another moment, but then roughly yanks me to my feet.
“That slap was just so you remember this. And know your place. It wouldn’t have to be like that, but you’re forcin’ my hand, Ashley. Goddamn you for makin’ me do shit like that. But the sooner you settle down and be the kind of woman I want and deserve, the better off we’ll all be. You got me?”
Shocked by his savagery and the anger I see in his face, I simply nod. He lingers there for another moment, staring deep into my eyes. Satisfied that he’s made his point, he turns and walks toward the living room.
“Clean this shit up,” he calls over his shoulder.
A moment later, the television goes on and I hear the cheering of some sporting event he’s watching, leaving me there feeling completely shattered and more scared than I’ve ever been.
As I stand there, in that moment, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that if I try to leave, he’ll kill me.
