Page 61 of Domino
She falls quiet and then buries her face in my chest. All I can do is hold her tightly to me for the moment. I don’t know if what I feel is love. I’ve honestly never truly felt love. Or at least, what I imagine love is supposed to feel like. At the same time, though, I’ve never felt what I’m feeling for Ashley for anybody else before in my life. So, maybe it is love, for all I know.
But I know I should be sure of myself before I say anything. Especially because if I say it now, in the state she’s in, she’s apt to believe that I’m patronizing her and only saying it because she did, and I don’t want her to feel bad. And if I say it, I want it to be at a time when there is no doubt in her mind. Or mine.
I softly stroke her hair and plant a kiss on the crown of her head.
“It’s a good thing I like ’em a little crazy,” I say.
She laughs and slaps my chest. “You’re such an asshole. But I love that about you.”
“I’m not quite sure what that says about you then,” I reply.
“That I’m kind of screwed up in the head.”
“We all are, Ash. In our own ways. But believe me when I say I like your brand of crazy more than I’ve ever liked somebody else’s. I like it a whole lot.”
Her forehead still pressed to my chest, I can see her cheeks flushing a bright scarlet color. She laughs and looks up at me, and her eyes shine with a love that’s pure, leaving me no doubt about her feelings for me.
“Shut up and take me to bed,” she says, a smile on her lips.
“Gladly,” I reply.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Domino
“So, this is really going down,” I say.
Cosmo nods. “It is. And I need to know if you’re in or out.”
I pace my living room, my phone pressed to my ear. My stomach is clenching tight and ice water is flowing through my veins. Having been spending so much time with Ashley and Cole these last couple of weeks, it’s been easy to forget about the cartel, Zavala, and the coming war. But now, reality has reared its ugly head and slapped me right across the face with a big, icy hand.
My mind is screaming at me to stay out of this. It’s telling me that I want no part in the shitshow that’s about to go down. Once I commit to this, there is no turning back and I’ll be in it to the end, for the good or more likely, for the bad. Nothing good comes of a war. There’s nothing but death and chaos.
But my heart is telling me something different. It’s telling me I cannot turn my back on my brothers. They would never turn their backs on me. They would be there for me in a pinch whenever I needed them. They’d be there for me even if I decline to take part in this, which only serves to make me feel even shittier for considering not helping them in a time of need.
In my mind’s eye, I see Ashley and Cole. And I wonder what I’m supposed to tell them. Worse, I wonder what happens if I just disappear because some cartel asshole cut my throat and left me to die in a shitty ditch somewhere. What would they think? What would they do? I mean, Ash knows about the MC, but she doesn’t really know about us. Doesn’t really know what we’re into. What would she think about us going off to war like this?
“Kid?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I hate to press you, but I need an answer. We’ve got plans to make.”
I nod to myself. “I’m in.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Not really. But we’re brothers. And I’m never going to be the guy who turns his back on his brothers. I’m ride or die with the club.”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and I can practically hear Cosmo thinking. His silence tells me he’s trying to find an out for me. But if I take it, if I let them do this and they fuck it up, and don’t manage to take Ortega out, the fury that’s going to descend on the club is going to be biblical. Not only will they have the Warriors gunning for them, but they’ll also have Zavala’s army to contend with. It will be a war of attrition, and against a combined force like that, the Pharaohs will eventually cease to be.
“When is it going down?” I ask.
“Tomorrow afternoon,” he says reluctantly.
“Then we’ve got work to do. We need to get together and get to it.”
“Kid—”
