Page 8 of Spyder
“The usual, boys?” Ashley asks.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say.
“Thanks, babe,” Domino says.
She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and when she turns to head for the kitchen, Domino swats her backside. She yelps and turns, sticking her tongue out at him, making Domino laugh. The easy banter and playfulness between them is sweet, and I’m glad he found somebody like her. For as different as they are, they complement each other well, and I think they are good together. I think they both fill something inside the other they were lacking before. And there’s no denying how happy they are. It makes me happy for the both of them.
Of course, it also makes me a little sad for me. Seeing how good they are together and how happy their relationship makes them really highlights what’s lacking in my life. I’ve got no woman and no prospects for a woman. Most days, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve got some friends with benefits around. Women I can stop by and see every now and then whenever I’ve got to scratch an itch. But really nothing beyond that. Certainly nothing deeper than that.
Domino says I’m too picky. Says I have standards that will be impossible for any mortal woman to meet. I don’t necessarily agree with that. I don’t think I’m asking for the moon. Nor do I think I should lower my standards and settle for less than I want. I think if I were to do that, if I were to settle for less, I’d eventually come to resent that other person, and that’s a recipe for disaster. I’m sure things would fall apart fast. And that wouldn’t be fair to either one of us. More than that, I think it would be my fault if I knowingly went into a relationship with somebody whom I knew to be less than my ideal.
I figure it’ll happen for me one day. Or it won’t. But the one thing I won’t do is get together with somebody who isn’t what I want but is simply just there. I think that’s a fucked-up thing to do to a person. So until that magical mystery woman comes along, I’ll keep enjoying my superficial relationships, banging my way through life. And if my ideal woman suddenly appears in a hail of rainbows, trumpets, and angels, all the better. If she doesn’t, at least I’m not chained down to somebody I will slowly come to despise.
But I can’t say there aren’t some days I don’t feel that pang of loneliness. I’m human. It happens. I’m not going to let it force me to do something I’m going to come to regret though.
Domino sits back in the booth and takes a gulp of his coffee and I watch his eyes darting around the dining room. He’s looking out for Ashley which means he wants to talk club business. Domino tries to keep her out of our business, and I think she prefers it that way. She loves him, but she doesn’t love the club. Oh, she likes all the guys well enough. She fits in just fine socially. But she doesn’t like the things we’re involved in. Especially those things that could put her man’s life in danger.
“She’s a good woman,” I tell him. “Better be treatin’ her right or I may swoop in and steal her from you.”
Domino laughs. “Boy, you wouldn’t know what to do with her even if you caught her.”
“Pretty sure I can figure it out.”
He laughs and gives me the finger. “Anyway, what do you think about this whole going to war shit?
“What’s to think about? We knew the club was headed this way ever since we shot down the man’s sicarios at the hunting lodge,” I say.
“Honestly, I’d kinda been hopin’ that whole thing would just die down.”
I laugh. “If you thought that was gonna happen, you’re dumber than you look, brother.”
He grins. “Yeah, pretty stupid to think it might. Dudes like Zavala don’t forgive or forget. And he’s relentless. He’s gonna keep comin’ until we put him in the ground.”
“Prophet knows. That’s why we’re takin’ the fight to the cartel. Fight this war on our terms,” I say. “If we don’t end Zavala, he’s gonna keep comin’ for us. And it’s gonna be a war of attrition that he’s gonna win because his army’s bigger. So, it’s on us to strike first and hit him hard. We gotta finish this prick once and for all.”
Domino nods, but I can see the concern in his eyes. And I know exactly what it’s all about. Hell, in his place, I’d probably be feeling the same way.
“Why didn’t you opt out, man?” I ask. “You got Ashley and Cole to look after.”
He shrugs. “Because you guys are my brothers. Your fight’s my fight.”
“But you’ve got a family to think of, man.”
“I couldn’t turn my back on my brothers. It’s not in me.”
“You know, nobody would have thought less of you if you opted out, right?”
He arches an eyebrow at me. “What was it you just said? Oh yeah… and if you believe that, you’re dumber than you look.”
I laugh softly. “Touché,” I say. “Asshole.”
I take a drink of my coffee and gather my thoughts. This war with the cartel is going to be nasty. It’s going to be bloody and it’s going to be ugly. I fully anticipate high casualty counts on both sides before it’s over. And what I don’t want is for Domino to leave Ashley and Cole without him. Not after they’d all just found each other. He has something to live for.
“Don’t do this because you’re worried about some of the guys lookin’ at you sideways, man,” I tell him. “Don’t let peer pressure force you to make a stupid decision, Max. You’ve got a lot going for you. Don’t fuck it up because of your sense of loyalty.”
“How are you risking anything different?”
“I don’t have a good woman and a great kid who need me,” I say. “If I die, my cat will be bummed for a while, but he’ll get over it.”
