Page 68 of Volt
“That’s the thing—I shouldn’t have to. The club is my family. They took me in when I rotated home. Gave me a sense of purpose and belonging. I had nobody else, and I was adrift. They welcomed me with open arms,” he says. “The better question is, why would somebody who says she cares about me demand I pick one or the other?”
“Maybe because your club is mixed up with this cartel?”
“And once this crisis passes, we won’t be. Things will go back to normal,” he replies. “Normal being that nothing like this happens. We don’t run with dangerous crowds, Fallon. We’re not out there runnin’ and gunnin’. We’re not a violent group. All of us just want to live a normal life. And like I said, the vast majority of the time we do.”
I shake my head and try to drown out his words because the more he speaks, the more he tears down the walls of resolve I’ve built around myself. I want to believe him. God, I want to. But I’m terrified of going down that road with him. Knowing he lives in a world where getting shot is a distinct possibility every single day is horrifying. It’s a world I shouldn’t want to be part of. But there’s a big part of me that, despite everything, still wants to be part of his world.
“Fallon, I love you,” he says so suddenly even he looks surprised.
He holds my gaze and even though he looks startled by his admission, I can see the truth of it in his eyes. Blake takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“I love you,” he repeats. “And my world is incomplete without you. I know things are hectic right now. I know there’s a lot of bad, scary stuff going on. But please believe that this sort of thing isn’t normal. And this isn’t our fault. This prick came after us. And unless we stop him, he’s going to kill every single one of us and who knows how many others in town when he starts slinging his dope. We don’t have a choice but to stop him. Lives are depending on it.”
I’m trembling from head to toe, and my heart is beating so hard inside of me, I’m sure it’s going to leave a bruise. He’s sincere, and I know he’s telling the truth. And that’s the bitch of it all.
“I’m scared, Blake. Terrified. What if I open my heart to you and you go and get yourself killed? What if you never come back?” I ask. “After losing my parents, do you know how badly that would destroy me?”
“As bad as you not giving me a chance to prove myself to you is destroying me.”
“You got shot. What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing to do with it. Yeah, I got shot, but I’m still here. I’m still with you,” he counters. “Nothing terrible happened. And like I said, it was an anomaly. A one-time freak occurrence. I never once got shot when I was overseas. Never even got close.”
“But you did here.”
“And once we take care of Zavala, you won’t have to worry about that anymore,” he presses. “Once we take care of Zavala, life goes back to normal, and we live in peace.”
A tear races down my cheek and I wipe it away—only to have it replaced by more. I have a thousand reasons to send him away right now. But there’s that one reason inside of me that just won’t let me go: I love him.
“I want to believe that,” I say, my voice trembling.
“Then believe it. Believe me,” he urges.
I feel myself taking a step toward him without consciously moving my body. It’s like I’m moving on autopilot. Blake takes a step toward me and before I know it, I’m being swept up in his strong arms. I turn my face up to him and see the love he feels for me shining in his eyes. I know how foolish this is. I know there are a thousand reasons I should listen to my head and not my heart, but I can’t seem to stop from giving myself over to him anyway. The heart wants what the heart wants. And mine wants Blake.
God help me, it wants him.
“I’m still afraid,” I whisper.
“It’s okay to be afraid. I just want to prove to you that you have nothing to be afraid of,” he replied softly. “You’ll see. I’m going to show you just how normal and boring I can be.”
A gentle smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, and I look up at him. “Promise?”
He nods “I do.”
I lay my head against his chest and listen to the steady rhythm as he holds me. In his arms, I feel so safe—which is ridiculous given how unsafe he’s shown me he is so far. But as I look at the shredded pieces of canvas that hang from the frame and litter the floor, I recall that that painting had once been filled with hope. A symbol of my trust in this man. It’s the same ember of hope that’s smoldering in my chest right now. It’s small and it’s barely lit but it’s there, guttering and flickering, nearly extinguished. But it’s there, nonetheless.
“I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you too,” I reply and God help me, I mean it.
Chapter Thirty
Volt
She turns her face up to me, and I look deeply into her eyes. I trace the pad of my thumb down her cheek relishing the smoothness of her skin. The sound of her voice as she told me she loves me is still ringing in my ears, making my heart swell to the point it feels like it might just burst. Those three little words hold the power to change my life. To change me.
I lean down and press my lips to hers. She’s stiff and slightly resistant at first but she quickly melts into me. Our tongues swirl around one another as my body fills with the heat of my passion and love for her. I slide my hands down her back then slip them underneath her T-shirt and trail my fingertips up her bare flesh, making her shudder.
