Turning on my heel, I marched to my banged-up, chipped, white Monte Carlo. When I
opened the driver¡¯s door, I heard him call behind, ¡°And it wasn¡¯t World of Warcraft, it
was League of¡ª¡±
I slammed my car door and muffled the rest of the sentence with the engine. Kicking
the gear in reverse, I pulled out of the driveway and sped away until Travis was a speck in
my rearview mirror.
My life was over.
Truly, undoubtedly, fucking, over.
When I finally pulled up to my dad¡¯s driveway after the grueling two-day, eighteen-
hour drive from South Dakota all the way back to Arizona, I was unshowered, still
wearing the same scrubs I wore when I found Travis, and my eyes were so puffy from
sobbing, I could hardly see.
Most of the mascara I had been wearing had been washed off by my tears, but a few
black streaks down my neck still remained that I couldn¡¯t be bothered to wipe off. The
gross motel¡¯s shower had a gross film of mildew around the drain that I didn¡¯t trust, but
even if I did, all I had enough energy for was to walk from my car to the front desk to
book a room, then to the hard, musty-smelling mattress.
I made no warning to my dad that I¡¯d be arriving at his place. I didn¡¯t really know how
to break the news to him. To anyone, really¡ I still hadn¡¯t processed it myself.
Pulling into his neighborhood, a bit of a smile twitched on my lips when I saw his yard
over a hundred feet away. All the houses on the street were almost identical; two levels,
finished basement, three bedrooms and two bathrooms, varying only in different shades
of taupe and complete with brown grass, parched from the heat. But my dad¡¯s yard looked
like an oasis in the desert, with grass that glowed green, decorated with stone water
fountains and ponds.
I parked next to his big white work van that advertised ¡°Parks¡¯ Landscaping¡± in green
text that matched his yard. When he opened his door to see me standing there with my
suitcase sitting at my loafers and blood-shot eyes, I could see the realization dawn on his
face. Before saying anything, he pulled me into a warm, tender embrace I hadn¡¯t felt since
my mom didn¡¯t make it to my college graduation.