the past twelve hours overflowed my body; horrifying images of guns pressed to my spine
and telling Isaac not to speak to me again.
Spitting out a mouthful of water and tears, I asked myself out loud, ¡°What did you
expect?¡±
I had no idea.
I just really liked him.
I thought we had a connection.
¡°Stupid,¡± I said. Why was I even surprised? I asked for this.
Isaac was nicknamed after an incident where he nearly murdered a man with a
wrench. He was a part of a motorcycle club. I was literally threatened to stay away from
him. It took all the flags to be reddened by blood before I realized just how dangerous he
really was.
If he was so dangerous, why did I hurt so much? Shouldn¡¯t I be relieved to have this
menace off my shoulders? Why did I want to run back to the Tavern and tell him that¡
that I never knew anyone could make me feel as free as me made me? That for the first
time I felt appreciated for simply being myself¡
Would that ever come again?
¡°It doesn¡¯t matter,¡± I thought out loud. It didn¡¯t matter if I was taken or alone, being
with Isaac wasn¡¯t an option. I¡¯d wind up murdered by those atrocious men. All their eyes
followed me, distrustfully. They hadn¡¯t even met me before and they threatened me, I¡¯d
never feel safe with Isaac knowing they resented me so much. It would never work out.
Turning off the shower, I threw on a scratchy bathrobe that was originally white, but
now yellowed by cigarette smoke. Lying in bed, I glanced at the red alarm clock digits
taunting me with ¡°7:09 AM¡±. I knew it¡¯d be one of those days where I slept until supper
time.
Letting my eyes flutter shut, I let myself take comfort in imaginations of Isaac¡¯s big,
warm arms hugging me under the stars.
Ring. Ring. Ri¡ª
Half asleep, I silenced my phone.
Ring. Ring. Ring.