just words. Nothing meaningful. Her blue eyes looked thirsty for me and her hand was
still touching me. This should have been turning me on, exciting me for tonight¡¯s sure
thing. Instead, I felt invaded by her touch and¡ sad.
I must have turned into the world¡¯s biggest wuss. Sitting next to a hot and willing girl
and sad because I didn¡¯t feel a fucking connection. Fucking pathetic. I needed to fix this.
¡°Wanna get out of here?¡± I ripped the band-aid off, and her eyes lit up.
¡°Sure!¡± she said. ¡°Umm¡ my place? Your place?¡±
Right as I was about to say I lived upstairs, I stopped. There was no way I was risking
her being needy and wanting to sleep over and cuddle. The second I was done, I was out
of there. ¡°Yours. Mine is getting renovated. Big mess.¡±
¡°Great!¡± she said. ¡°But umm¡ I¡¯m not getting on your bike.¡±
I laughed. ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡±
¡°This is my first drink. Want to follow me in my car?¡±
I nodded and told her I¡¯d be right outside so I could say goodbye to the club. Though
heavy with irritating depression, I bounced up to the guys and said, ¡°See? I¡¯m back, boys.¡±
All of them hollered and slammed their tankards against the table as I walked away
with my hands still in the air, seemingly embracing the praise. They didn¡¯t see the smile
fall off my face once I turned my back to them.
Mandy lived in a trailer park near the edge of the eastside, leading to the west. My skin
crawled riding those roads, keeping an eye out for any Freeway Fucks cruising around.
Knocking a Freeway out would be the perfect excuse to get out of my night with Mandy.
The warm evening wind blasted on my face as I cranked the throttle to speed past a senior
driver. I breathed it in, hoping it¡¯d bring me back into my element as usual. Who was I?
Searching for an excuse to get out of sex was something I didn¡¯t think was possible.
When I parked my bike outside of Mandy¡¯s, she was already inside. With a defeated
sigh, I dragged my feet inside the pink mobile trailer to have meaningless sex. Woe is me,
I thought. Inside, it looked like a makeup store threw up all over the floor, with colorful
lipsticks, eyeshadows, hairbrushes, and¡ whatever the rest of that shit was called.
¡°Oh, you made it!¡± Mandy said, walking back from the kitchen with a bottle of red
wine and two glasses. I shivered. I fucking hated wine. As she bustled around to clear off