Page 30 of Archer
“Yeah, man.” Wrench was chuckling alongside Crow. “Gotta say, unless you actually sleep with her, I wouldn’t be too cocky.”
“Whatever,” I said, folding my arms and looking away to show my indifference. “Tonight, I’m teaching her how to give a blowjob. I’m looking forward to it.”
Ripper bobbed his head. “Nice.”
“Wow, a blowjob.” Wrench said, laughing. “Maybe you’ll lose your virginity with her, too, on prom night.”
I was about to counter him with a retort, but the door opened, and Tank came walking through, looking concerned. “Oh, Archer, I’m glad you’re here. Where were you yesterday?”
“I was having a spectacular day, thanks for asking. How about you?”
“I was looking for you yesterday,” he said, and I realized that he wasn’t asking for the sake of small talk; rather, he actually needed me.
“Oh, uh, sorry I forgot to call.” I rubbed the back of my neck as he shook his head at me, walking toward the head of the table. “What’s going on?”
“I stopped by Ron’s bakery yesterday after I heard about one of the Freeways getting arrested for… murder.” As soon as Tank stopped speaking, my skin paled as a horrific, heartbreaking image played in my head. Thankfully, Tank recognized my expression and he added, “Don’t worry. That’s why I checked on Ron. He’s fine. Or, well, he’s alive.”
The wave of relief hit me in a way I didn’t expect from such a short moment of fear. However, the thought of returning home to tell Rose the news of her father’s passing would have destroyed me. Not me, her. But imagining the pain she would feel was… devastating. I said, “Thank god. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know the details. He keeps saying everything is fine. Fuckin’ hard getting any information out of that guy,” he said, and I nodded, imagining how much worse it must have been for Rose growing up. “I have a feeling he isn’t doing well with, well, making enough to pay off his debts.”
My stomach filled with anxiety, thinking of the consequences for Ron. I said, “Is there anything we can do to help?”
“Haven’t you done enough?” Ripper asked. “Gonna pay for her dad’s loan, too?”
“No, well, if I had enough I would…”
“What can we do?” Tank asked. “Put him up in your place, too?”
“No, just…” I thought about what I was expecting and realized I didn’t have any idea. “I don’t know. I just… don’t want anything bad to happen to him.”
“This guy gets one handjob and he’s practically married into the family,” Wrench said rolling his eyes.
Tank raised an eyebrow. “Handjob?”
“Yeah, Archers’ finally getting it on with the baker,” Ripper said.
“But that’s not why, that has nothing to do with it,” I said. “I just… her mom already died. I don’t want to see her without a father…”
“Archer, we’re already doing more than enough than we’re responsible for… but really. What can we do?”
Then something happened that shocked all of us happened.
Crow spoke up before I had a chance to respond to Wrench, saying, “fuck it. Not sure what good it’ll do, but if your little lass or her dad gets in trouble, call me and I’ll try to sneak him into my place or somethin’.”
I looked at Crow, blinking with my mouth hanging open, the rest of the gang sharing my reaction. Finally, I said, “Really? You?” Then added, “Why?”
“Yeah, what the fuck, Crow?” Wrench asked. “You were about ready to kill my girlfriend, but you’re volunteering to help him?”
“You didn’t have Hollywood’s back, I didn’t have yours,” he said simply, and Wrench shut his mouth.
Still, I asked again, “But… still… Why are you, of all people, going to help me?”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” he said with a grumble. “But you’ve had my back, unlikesome, especially during Hollywood dyin’ and shit. You don’t stand a chance with this chick, she’s clearly only using you and out of your league, she’s even said that herself.” As Crow spoke, I began growing worried Crow was using this as an excuse to make a long, drawn-out insult. But then, he said, “And I like that. She’s actually got some character unlike the other chicks you usually fuck.” We gawked at Crow’s surprisingly touching, backhanded comments toward me. “Wouldn’t be so bad for you to have someone who isn’t a fucking airhead, and you sure won’t have a chance with her if you don’t at least try to protect her old man as well.”
“Wow,” I said, still in disbelief. “Uh, thanks Crow. That means a lot to me.”
“Well, fuck, now yer makin’ us look bad, Crow,” Tank said, huffing and shaking his head. “Fine, we’ll all help protect Ron. Archer, get Maverick and the rest of the guys to keep an eye on the bakery. Ripper, I want you to find a good, easy weapon for Ron to use in the security shed. A small handgun that doesn’t have much kick or somethin’. Wrench, you and I will drop it off to him tomorrow and let him know he has our support.”
