Page 18 of Archer
“And then I drank alcohol—”
“Hold on.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to absorb the abundance of information. “Are you drunk?”
“Shook them aaaalllll night long!”
“That’s not even the same song that’s playing right now…” Spotting the remote control on the green wingback chair next to the black sofa, I walked toward it while shaking my head.
“Hey,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest when I turned the volume down from sixty to twelve.
“It’s all right, Angus Young, I’m only turning it down,” I said. “Don’t need a noise complaint.” Setting the remote back down, I turned to her. “Okay. Rewind. What happened today? How’d you meet Evelyn?”
“She brought me things!”
“Huh?”
“That.” Following her finger, I saw a pile of pink girly garbage on my breakfast island.
“Great…”
“She also said you’re a good guy.” She was back to dancing again, but without the guitar, her thick, shiny chestnut hair flying in the air. In a way that coincidentally hit the same rhythm of the music, she jumped and swayed around the living room. “But I still think you’re kind of a jerk. But I don’t think you’re trying to hurt me anymore.”
“Oh, well that’s nice.” On the table sat my bottle of dark rum with at least a quarter missing from it. “Jesus,” I said under my breath before turning back to her. “So, then, did you and Evelyn start drinking together?”
“No,” she said. “I drank alone.”
“Oh.” I pursed my lips and ran my hand through my hair, unsure of how to handle her in this condition. Although she was speaking better than some of the women I’d talked to at the bar, she was far more erratic and hyper than anyone I’d been around since I turned twenty. “Why?”
“Bored.” She spun in a circle, doing the wave with her hands.
“I see,” I said. “Have you… ever been drunk before?”
“Nope.”
Finally, I let myself laugh. Hard. All week my stress had been through the roof. Not one of the girls that I tried hooking up with had a place to fuckandI was forced to walk on eggshells in my own house. After her verbal attack on me, I knew better than to expect I’d ever have a shot with her. But fuck, I needed to wind down and have a drink on my couch.
I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with ice then headed back over to the sofa. Free pouring the rum into the glass, I topped it up with coke, grabbed the remote, then made myself comfortable. “Cheers.”
“Oh my gosh,” she said then rushed to grab her drink. “My first real cheers.” Scurrying over toward me, she tinged her glass against mine. “Cheers!” Then, she flopped on the couch, looking like she just finished working out. Still trying to understand exactly what was going on, I gave her a sideways glance.
“You’re twenty-one, right?” She nodded. “How have you never been drunk before?”
“I don’t know, but I wish I’d been drinking all along, ’cause this is great.”
I shook my head slowly, as if I couldn’t believe what she was saying. “I’m not trying to be weird here, but you’rereallyhot. How did you not go to any high school parties or something? I’m sure all the preppy douchebags loved you.”
She shook her head. “Didn’t go to high school.”
“What?” My eyes were almost coming out of my sockets. “How? EvenIwent to high school.”
“Homeschooled,” she said, and my jaw dropped.
“Wh-what? Why were you homeschooled?”
“My dad is weird,” she said and played with the ends of her hair. “He doesn’t really… like me going away.”
“So, what? You’ve never… had people your own age to be around?”
“I never had peopleever.”
