Page 43 of Archer
“What was I going to do?” I whispered out loud to myself with disgust. “Just, what, Archer? Have so much great sex with her that she wouldn’t even worry about anyone’s safety? Great thinking.”
I felt ashamed of how stupid and selfish when I agreed to help, treating it all like chance to get laid. I didn’t realize how big of a deal this was. I didn’t regret helping her. I was past that point. I wanted to help her, more than I’d wanted anything before.
But I never considered the very likely reality that Rose might not ever see her father again and there might not be anything I could do about it.
“Dammit.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rose
The next afternoon, Archer had gone somewhere, and I was relieved he wasn’t around. Something was going on with my mind, something I had no control over, something that made me crave Archer. It had been going on ever since we began messing around, but I was able to deny it until the night before. I sipped a glass of orange juice in the kitchen, thinking about everything that happened the night before.
When his fingers ran through my hair, his bluish-gray eyes looked so honest and… good. I didn’t think anyone could ever make me feel better about living a sheltered life. I always assumed I’d always long for what I never had, feeling defective for missing out on the simple joys most experienced. But Archer somehow made it all seem less bleak, like maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. I didn’t think anything could have made me feel better last night, aside from maybe the cigarette, but I actually got some sleep after chatting with Archer.
Sighing, I looked at the shelf that held his motorcycle club memorabilia.The Blazing Rebels… I thought to myself as I strolled up to the shelf to inspect it with a different perspective. Staring at the photograph of who I now knew to be Tank, it looked different, knowing he was married to such a nice woman like Evelyn. It said a lot about his character. I couldn’t imagine someone like her putting up with anyone who was a bad person.
I picked up a small display box containing one of the golden pins with their emblem engraved into it. There was so much care put into the details, it was clear this pin held a lot of value that I definitely didn’t understand.
Maybe I should try to ask him more about his lifestyle.
I set the pin back on the shelf and moved back to the kitchen, realizing I was pacing aimlessly with my thoughts. “You don’t actually like him, Rose,” I told myself out loud as I wandered around the room, feeling restless, banging my fists upon another to keep my limbs moving. “You only feel this way because he’s the only person you’ve been around all month.”
“That’s it,” I said and leaned my forearms on the surface of the breakfast island, frowning at the refrigerator he always kept tidy. Everything all became some warped, diluted side effect of the present circumstances. If I was with anyone for this long, I’d gain feelings, and if Archer and I were to spend time together in any other scenario, I wouldn’t be able to stand him. He was so arrogant, clearly used to women doing whatever he wanted, believing he could give any girl an orgasm like some sort of sex magician.
But Rose… he made you orgasm.
“Argh.” I grabbed my head as the memory of our bodies tangled on the floor that I was standing on flashed before my mind. The only reaction I expected from him, after I tossed rose petals on the floor, was him walking in and calling me a giant loser.
I remembered I pictured something like him walking through the door that day of our lesson, bursting into laughter and saying, “All right, lesson number one. Don’t do this for any man ever unless you want a restraining order.” But instead, he stared at it all, and he was caught off guard, of course. But then, there was this softness that grew in him, and he told me that he appreciated it, that it was a first for him too. He didn’t need to be accepting, I wasn’t dumb. I knew the kind of man he was. A man who never wanted to be married, to commit. He said it himself.
You know he cares about you.
You care about him.
There was a click from the door unlocking and my heartbeat quickened. My eyes darted to the hallway and I considered running away, not ready to see him with all these thoughts swirling around in my mind. I tried to leave, but I leaned over the island, watching the door open. Inside walked Archer in his leather jacket, looking a little tired, but still as handsome as he did last night in the warm candlelight. When he locked the door and turned around to face me for the first time, he hesitated.
“Oh, hey,” he said, and a smile moved up his face. “Looking for more nicotine?”
Why does he have to be so funny?
“No.” I said with a small laugh. “Bored. Restless. Pacing. You know.”
He looked at me funnily as he stepped toward me but didn’t pry. Instead, he asked, “Uh, want a drink? Or a movie? Or I can leave. It doesn’t matter.”
As I looked at him, offering various methods to relieve my anxieties, I felt something take over me and I shook my head. “No.”
He nodded and took off his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack nailed to the wall. “All right, well, if you change your—”
I couldn’t stop myself. “I know what I want to do.”
“Oh?” He asked, nearing the other side of the breakfast island and resting his forearms on it, parallel to me. A chunk of his dirty-blonde hair fell from above his head and down the side of his cheeks, grazing against the dark stubble that was scruffier that usual, but still sexy. His dimples showed when he grinned, his white teeth so perfectly straight. Sliding his arms closer to mine, he asked, “What’s that?”
My shoulders moved with my chest from across the surface and I inspected him, searching for anything that might tell me to act otherwise, something that I saw before. But I couldn’t see anything. Where did all the glaring flaws go?
Right as he opened his mouth, urging me to continue, I cut him off. “I want to do another lesson.”
His eyes widened and a quirky grin grew on his lips. “What?”
