Page 20 of Crow
“But you went against orders!” Tank’s voice raised, and he sat forward, staring at me intensely. “What if we were in a high stakes situation like, I don’t know, a fuckin’ raid on a rival club? You goin’ against orders could completely ruin the operation, or worse, get one of your brothers killed.”
It was like I had been gut-punched. I slumped back in the booth, looking down at the table. Wrench nudged the beer closer to me. I snatched it and took a long drink.
Across from me, Tank sighed. “Can I trust you not to do it again?” he asked. I nodded once, sharply, and he uncrossed his arms. “Okay then,” he said. “I’m satisfied.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. Tank and Wrench exchanged looks, and beside me, Wrench cleared his throat.
“On a completely unrelated note,” he said. “You’ve been even more foul tempered than usual.”
“Wrench,” Tank said disapprovingly, and Wrench shrugged.
“He has,” he defended himself. “Everyone’s noticed.”
“What Wrench is tryin’ to say,” Tank cut in, glaring at the other man, “is that we were wonderin’ if everythin’ was okay with you. If we’re really goin’ to do this thing, you need to have your fuckin’ head on straight.”
“I’m fine,” I said shortly. I was not going to talk about Jade with them. It was ridiculous, and it was over, so no one else ever needed to know. I was not about to open myself up to people so soon after Jade reminded me why doing that was such a bad idea in the first place. And besides, there were bigger, more important things to be thinking about right now. Tank and Wrench looked uncertain but let me go. I was on my way to the liquor store for more beer when my phone chimed. It was a text from Jade, and all it said wasDrink with me.
Chapter Ten
Jade
I was really sick of feeling guilty. It was ridiculous, I hadn’t even done anything wrong. There were plenty of times where Ihaddone something wrong and it didn’t bother me this fucking much. I never felt guilty when I stole coke from the club whores when they were too out of it to notice, or when I pickpocketed the men in Tease who got too handsy. It was even relatively easy to tune out the voice in my head that sounded like Jess and told me I was doing something wrong.
So why the fuck was the look on Crow’s face bothering me so much? Why was I still texting him, and why the fuck did I care that he wasn’t answering? So what if I never mentioned Ray to him before? I never mentioned Jess either, was he going to get all pissy when he found out about her, too? And he never told me about a lot of things! I still didn’t know why he enjoyed late night walks so much. Fucking hypocrite.
That was why I was with Ray. Ray always made it clear what we were about. He could be a dick sometimes, be a bit too rough or fuck around with other girls, but that was okay. In the end, I was his girl, the one he stayed with and protected and showed off. He might even love me. And I was a fucking idiot for losing sight of that, especially for someone with as much fucking baggage as Crow. I had enough problems of my own, thanks.
I huffed and pushed myself off the couch, carefully picking my way across the strippers and club whores that were high off their asses and lounging about the sitting room. I headed into the kitchen where Ray and the Freeways were once again plotting their plan to take down the Rebels.
“We’ve been over this a hundred times, Boss.” Breaker was complaining.
Ray scowled at him. “And we’ll go over it a hundred fuckin’ more if we have to. I want those damn Rebels wiped out of Mascid for good this time, you feel me?”
“Yes, Boss,” the club chorused. I pushed my way through to the front where Ray was. Lab Rat grabbed at me as I passed, pulling me close and breathing deep. Revulsion churned in my stomach, and I slapped him.
“Let my girl go, Rat,” Ray said. His tone was calm, even casual, but he was staring the man down. Lab Rat let go of my forearm like it burned him, holding both his hands up in surrender. I flipped the creep off and slid into Ray’s lap. Unlike last time, he welcomed me, one of his rough hands holding my hip as I pressed kisses along his jaw. I stole the cigarette from his other hand, taking a long drag and humming as I exhaled. I glanced down at the kitchen table; there was a sheet of paper with scribbled bullet points. Across the table, a few of the Freeways were messing with the coke, cutting it up with something and separating it out into baggies. I squinted slightly. Baking soda maybe? Crushed vitamins? I lost interest quickly and turned back to Ray, taking another drag from the cigarette.
“Why don’t you just burn their place down, baby?” I murmured. I was so bored of him obsessing over the Rebels, I just wanted them to be gone already so things could go back to normal.
“Why don’t you stick to your pole, whore?” Lab Rat sneered. Without looking away from me, Ray pulled out his gun and pointed it at Lab Rat. I could almost hear the snap of his teeth as he closed his mouth as quickly as he could, and I didn’t bother stopping my smile.
“That,” Ray said, grinning back at me. “Is a fuckin’ fantastic idea.” He kept his gun pointed at Rat, but his other hand left my hip to tangle in my hair and pull my mouth onto his in a bruising kiss. I pressed my body closer to him, but he pushed me away and took his cigarette back. He tossed me one of the little coke baggies from the table before turning away from me.
“Now fuck off. I gotta plan this thing.”
“Maybe I could help—” I started, stepping closer to him again, but Ray frowned. His gun moved away from Lab Rat to point at me. I froze.
“Careful, Jade,” he warned, grin narrowing into something colder, meaner. “You had one good idea. Don’t go forgettin’ your place.”
“Right,” I muttered, head down as disappointment caused my stomach to plummet. “Sorry, baby.” I clenched the baggie in my fist and retreated from the kitchen, pretending not to see the sneer Lab Rat sent my way. A few of the other girls snickered at me as I returned to my place on the couch, and I flipped them off. I sat staring at the baggie of coke in my hands, hearing Crow’s voice echoing around my head.
“I thought you were too smart to be doing this,” he had said. I still didn’t know what to do with that. No one had ever believed in me, not even my parents. My own boyfriend couldn’t bring himself to care about me long enough to listen to me more than once in a blue moon.
That’s not true,a treacherous voice whispered in the back of my mind.Crow did.
Crow had listened to me when I spoke about being homeless. He had listened and debated with me over film theories. Hot tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I remembered some of our debates over shitty movies. I felt human around him. More than just an object to be pushed aside in favor of something more interesting. The bag of coke seemed to taunt me.
“There’s better out there for you,” Crow had told me. He had looked so horribly sincere, like he truly believed that.
