Page 29 of Crow
“You really expect me to believe you didn’t know?” I said finally, watching her through narrowed eyes. “I’m always on my bike, my cuts are thrown around everywhere,” I gestured to where they were draped across the arm of the couch she was sitting on. She eyed them miserably, her hands clenched into shaking white-knuckled fists in her lap. “Fuck, Jade, you knew I was a biker from the first moment we met, you told me so yourself!” I was almost shouting now, rage flaring in my chest. Either she was lying or she had been willfully ignorant, and both were fucking cowardly things to do. I had thought better of her. She flinched back, fear in her green eyes, and I had to deliberately unclench my fists.
“You want to know what I think?” I asked through gritted teeth, forcing my voice to be calm. When she didn’t answer I walked forward, picking my cuts up and turning them over in my hands as I continued talking. “I think that you knew exactly who I was, and you kept coming over here to spy on me and the Rebels and report back to your son of a bitch dirt-munching boyfriend.”
“No!” Jade shook her head violently. “I swear, I didn’t. I might have had suspicions but I always talked myself out of them because I just… I didn’t want to accept it. Didn’t want to accept a lot of things.”
I stayed silent, and she slumped. Suddenly, all the rage that had been filling me drained out of my body. I was just tired. I dropped onto the couch, letting my head fall back to rest against the back of it. I knew that she had her own issues and baggage that made her act the way she did. Fuck, all of this startedbecausewe talked about some of our fucking baggage. She was the first one in God knows how fucking long that made me feel it was possible to talk about my past. And Jade was beginning to open up too. I definitely couldn’t understand her yet, but I wanted to. I wanted to know the way her mind worked. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t keep getting thrown for a fucking loop every time this woman did something. I looked toward her, willing to hear her out.
“Ray’s bad news, you were right,” she continued quietly after a beat, and she sounded so pathetic that I had to ball my hands into fists again to keep myself from reaching out to hold and comfort her. “I knew… I knew he wasn’t treating me, or anyone, right.” She gulped in a wet breath like she was going to start crying. “I’ve just been with him so long. I don’t know who I am without him, or the drugs, and that scares me.”
I swiped my hand down my face, feeling strangely hollow. What she was saying was hitting too close to home. I had been clinging to the memory of Jeannie, to my grief, for years now, and I wasn’t sure who I would be if I let it go. Jade had said it was okay for me to move on but I hadn’t really believed her. Now it made me wonder if I was turning Jeannie into my own version of Ray, an iron ball that I was clinging to even as it dragged me down. I had spent the last few years thinking that I was avoiding my past and chasing a new version of me, hoping that I’d wake up one day and look like a different person to match how I felt inside. But all that time I had been clinging to the past, and even though I had thought that the Blazing Rebels had filled part of the void Jeannie had left, I had to wonder if maybe I was just letting the void consume me.
Soft sobs drew my attention back to Jade. She was hunched over, her face buried in her hands. Her crying put me on edge. I wanted to comfort her, and I wanted to get on my bike and drive to Ray’s and punch his teeth in for making her feel like this, and I couldn’t decide which one to do first so I just ended up paralyzed. Was this how she had felt, trapped by the options in front of her? But she was sitting here with me, instead of with him right now, so maybe she was finally making a decision to move forward, away from what was dragging her down.
If she could do it, so could I. She was still crying. I wasn’t sure what to do. Thoughts of how to explain that I understood how she felt, how I wish I could take all her pain away like Jeannie used to for me, flashed through my mind too quickly to make any sort of sense. I tried to clear my mind as I moved closer to her, stroking a stray strand of her dark hair behind her ear. She took a deep, shaky breath, and when she looked up at me again her green eyes were determined.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she said. “Even when I want to hate you, even when I wish I’d never met you, I can’t get you out of my fucking head. And I think—Iknow—that you feel the same. I saw the way you looked at me when I blew you, and I saw the way you looked at me last night when you thought someone might shoot me. You care for me, Crow—”
“Michael,” I interrupted on impulse. She looked at me, her lips pursed in confusion. “My name is Michael,” I explained. I don’t know how but it was like we were sharing thoughts. I remembered when I felt that way about Jeannie, and it wasn’t something I wanted to take for granted. Hearing all my thoughts be said aloud by her brought it all into perspective. It was like a switch flipped inside my brain. It felt like Jade and I had nothing to hide from each other, and if there were still secrets between us it didn’t matter anymore. I felt something inside me unwind, anyone and anything else slipping out of my mind. I didn’t remember getting so close to her, but I could feel the warmth of her breath against my face and could almost count her dark eyelashes. A slow, soft smile spread across her face, the dimple appearing in her left cheek. I had the wild urge to kiss it.
“Michael,” she repeated, voice filled with gentle wonder, like it was the best thing she had ever heard. The lilt in her voice sent warmth through my chest. Hearing her say my name,my real name, for the first time, felt like something had changed between us. I couldn’t look away from her as she shifted even closer to me on the couch. The sleeve of her sweater slipped off her shoulder, and my eyes were drawn to the bare creamy skin beneath. Her smile grew wider. “You care for me, Michael, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
My self-control snapped. I was out of excuses why I shouldn’t do this. It finally felt like we were on the same page, like we were in this together. She made me smile and feel the most like myself in a long time, and after so long of holding myself back and not letting anyone close enough to hurt me, I felt like I was ready to fall. I surged forward, burying my hands in her hair and crushing my mouth to hers. She gave a pleased little gasp, her hands coming up to clutch at my shoulder and hair as I pressed her back into the couch cushions.
Chapter Sixteen
Jade
As he pressed me onto the couch cushions, I could feel my heart trying to beat itself out of my chest. Suddenly, nothing that had happened before mattered. Every time I thought of his name, I couldn’t help but smile. It suited him, and the fact that he told me his real name made it feel like he trusted me, like he wanted me to be involved in more than just the biker part of his life.
The position was so similar to the one we had been in only a couple of days before, Crow’s body pressed between my legs, the length of him pressed against me as his mouth crushed against mine, his tongue flicking against my lower lip and asking for entrance. I gasped into the kiss, raising my hands to knot in his long hair and stop him from moving away. Though it didn’t seem like he was interested in stopping what we were doing as his tongue invaded my mouth, stroking along mine as his hands roamed down my sides. They never settled, stroking and petting and grabbing to pull me roughly against his body like he couldn’t get enough of me. His large hands gripped my thighs, pulling them up to wrap around his waist as he slid down to press kisses down my neck and suck dark bruises into my collar. I arched into it, heat pooling in the pit of my stomach.
He pulled away to look down at me, smiling when I whined at the loss. I stared at him, starstruck by the flush on his cheeks, the way his hair was disheveled and falling around his face, his blue eyes bright. I had done that to him. Pride andwantswelled in my chest, and I pulled him back down to me.
“I didn’t say you could stop,” I murmured against his mouth. He grinned and nipped at my lower lip, the spark of pleasure-pain sending a thrill through my body. He kissed me again, and this devolved into something primal, something animalistic and possessive. It was a clash of tongue and teeth in the best way, stealing my breath as his hands dove under my sweater. His nails scratched across my ribs as he hitched my legs higher, pressing closer to me. I could tell that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, and it gave me a rush better than any cheer I had ever gotten when onstage at Tease. I gasped into his mouth, rolling my hips into his and moaning as I felt the length of him, hot and straining against the soft fabric of his pajama bottoms. I licked my lips, remembering how good it had felt in my mouth, and Crow’s gaze flicked down to follow the movement. His ears went pink and his eyes went glassy like he was remembering it too. It made me feel powerful, desirable, to see him so desperate to have me. He tore at my sweater, trying to pull it over my head.
“God fucking dammit, stupid fucking thing…” he muttered quietly to himself when it caught around my shoulders, but it just seemed cute instead of making me nervous. I wriggled out of the sweater, breathless laughter cutting off as Crow’s mouth closed around my nipple. I rocked up against him as he sucked and nipped at the sensitive peak, panting harshly and whining at the lack of friction between my legs. He shifted to press his thigh against my sensitive pussy, and I moaned, grinding my clit against it through our clothes. My stomach coiled as he worked me higher and higher, the combination of sensations almost overwhelming.
“Crow,” I gasped, hands clenching as he switched his attention to the other nipple. He tugged it gently between his teeth, and I arched with a moan. “Michael, Christ, fuck.”
“God, I want to,” he said, releasing my nipple with a wet pop as his hands toyed with the button of my jeans. “Tell me I can fuck you, Jade, please.” I wanted to give him everything, nothing held back anymore.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I babbled, too caught in the sensations to feel embarrassed. “Please, Crow, Michael, I want you to fuck me, I want it so bad.”
He closed his eyes with a groan, pressing sloppy kisses to my diaphragm before pulling away from me. I whined at the loss, trying to pull him back down to me, but he caught my hands and pressed kisses to my palms before I could. The gentle action settled me, and when he got my jeans undone, I lifted my hips so that he could pull them off easier. He tugged my panties off at the same time then stood up to peel off his own pajama bottoms. I admired the expanse of his toned, tanned skin suddenly on display, ignoring his smirk in favor of reaching out to trail my fingers down his abs and stroke the neat trail of blond hair leading toward his cock.
“I think I owe you something, don’t you agree?” he murmured, the low tone making my pussy throb. It took me a moment to figure out what he meant. But when I did, I nodded frantically.
“Please,” I begged, unashamed. He grinned, crooked and cocky and so beautiful as he leaned back over me. He littered my torso with kisses, trailing downward until his face was between my thighs. He blew gently against my pussy, sending shivers and goosebumps racing across my skin. Then, without warning, he licked a long stripe from my opening to my clit. I arched off the couch with a cry, balling my hands into fists in his hair.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he muttered. Suddenly, my head was filled with Ray complaining about what a mess I made when he fucked me, and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I started to pull away, closing my legs.
“Sorry,” I said quietly. He grabbed my thighs and dragged me roughly back down the couch cushions toward him.
“I never said that was a bad thing,” he assured me, peppering kisses to the soft skin of my inner thighs. “I think it’s really hot.” He pressed a final kiss to the jut of my hip before returning his attention to my pussy. His tongue flicked against my clit, curling and licking against the sensitive nub until all I could do was moan his name and roll my hips against his face. My stomach coiled tighter and tighter, breathing harsh and skin hot. When one of his fingers teased at my opening, pressing in shallowly, I shook apart. I moaned loudly, and Crow had to hold my hips down, continuing to lavish attention on my clit as the orgasm wracked my body.
It took me a couple of moments to come down from the high. I looked down at him just in time to see him wipe some of my juices from his chin with his thumb then lick them off. I stared for a moment then launched myself at him. I pushed him back into the arm of the couch and straddled his lap, cupping his face as I kissed him hungrily. His cock was hot and throbbing between my legs, and all I wanted was for him to be inside of me. I ground down against him, loving the way he tilted his head back and moaned. I nibbled at his jugular, nosing the soft underside of his jaw as my hands roamed his chest, nails catching at his nipples.
“Want you,” I murmured between kisses. “Want you inside me, Michael.”
