Page 9 of Crow
“Maybe.” I smirked. Jess had given me several lectures about it in the past, saying it wasn’t safe andblah blah blah. I didn’t care. It was easier than training myself to respond to some random ass name that sounded like it belonged to a dog, or some horse that people bet on at the fucking races.
“Guys, you’re holding up the line,” the cashier complained. I looked behind me at the empty store with my eyebrow raised but handed over the money for my own bottle anyway.
“And a pack of smokes please. Sterling Dual. And what the fuck, a new lighter too. Mine’s almost busted,” I said. When I looked back, sliding the cigarettes and lighter into my bag, back, Crow was already out of the door.Fucking rude. I hurried after him.
“Hey, wait up!” I called. “You never answered my question.”
“What?”
“What’s your deal?”
He looked like he was considering something for a moment before finally saying that it was a long story.
I held up my whiskey. “I’ve got time. And alcohol.”
Crow’s mouth twitched, like he was going to smile but decided not to. I took that as a challenge, and began plotting ways to make him smile. Next thing I knew, I was on the back of his bike, my arms wound tight around his waist as I breathed in the scent of sandalwood and smoke. I could feel the heat of his body pressed against mine as he drove us to a field on the outskirts of town, his abs flexing beneath my palms. They felt just as drool-worthy as I thought they would, and I wanted to catch a glimpse of them more than ever.
We lay in the grass and drank our cheap whiskey from the bottle, watching the sun set and the stars blink to life above us. At first we were silent, but when we had drunk about half a bottle each, he sighed and put his down. I looked at him, but he was looking up at the stars.
“I was married for a while, back when I was an accountant.”
“Yeah?” I asked as I lowered my own whiskey bottle to the ground between my legs.
“Yeah. Her name was Jeannie. Prettiest fucking girl in my high school, and sosmart. Could never figure out why the hell she wanted me. She even followed me all the way to college, claiming it to be the best law course when I knew, I fuckingknewshe could get in somewhere better. But damn, I could never bring myself to push her away. Too goddamn selfish. I wanted her to be mine, wanted to give her everything I could. When I started working at Wall Street, we moved in together, got hitched… We were planning for a family, three kids and a dog, the whole fucking shebang.”
“What happened?” My voice was hushed now. Anything louder than a breath would shatter this moment and that felt like a blasphemy.
“She died,” he said shortly, face hardening. He took another drink of whiskey. “Goddamn brain tumor.”
“Well fuck, that’s some shitty luck.” I regretted saying it immediately, knowing I sounded heartless. I just didn’t know what to say. What are you supposed to do when a virtual stranger shares their tragic backstory with you? I took a swig from my own whiskey bottle, using the motion to prevent myself from saying anything else stupid. No wonder he hadn’t wanted me to dance for him; he was still grieving his dead wife. As I drank, I watched Crow from the corner of my eye. Part of me was worried he’d be mad, was bracing for the punch, but he just huffed. It was a sound that could barely qualify as a laugh, no happiness in it, but there was a dry smile on his face as he took his next swig of whiskey so I relaxed again.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Fucking awful luck.”
It wasn’t hard to see how Crow had gone from being a successful New York accountant to a biker in the armpit of Arizona anymore. He did what anyone would do when their life was crashing down around them: he ran away and joined the circus. A leather-clad, oil-stained circus where he didn’t have to think about it anymore.
Reminded me of me.
“I was… was homeless,” I offered after we’d been drinking silently for a while. It seemed only fair to tell him about my past seeing as he had shared his. I started unbraiding and re-braiding my hair as something to focus my nervous energy on. The alcohol was warm in my veins, and I could feel my words slurring on my tongue as I leaned into Crow’s space. He didn’t say anything, just looked at me, waiting. “Parents weren’t great,” I continued, trying to nod seriously but knowing, distantly, that I was failing. The whiskey bottle lay in the grass next to me, empty. “They never… never wanted a kid. Never wanted the… the burden. Grandma took care of… of me, and then she went and fucking croaked.” I hiccupped. “So I left.”
I smiled then, proud of having taken my life into my own hands. I had hitchhiked my way across Arizona until I reached Mascid, hanging around the alleys and shelters. It hadn’t been long before Ray found me, offering me coke and a roof over my head, and I’d been with him ever since. I wondered if he’d miss me if I died the way Crow obviously missed his wife. Then I wondered if he’d even notice that I wasn’t around. Beside me, Crow snorted.
“That’s shit luck,” he said, deadpan. When I turned to look at him, there was a twinkle in his blue eyes. I blinked at him then burst into laughter, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes and ribs aching as I fell against his side.
“So thereisa sense of humor under that beard.” I chuckled as I calmed down. I stayed pressed against him. Sitting up suddenly seemed like too much effort, and he didn’t shrug me off. If anything, he shuffled a bit closer.
“Yeah, well. Don’t fucking tell anyone. I have a reputation to protect, you know,” he murmured, and I hid a smile behind his shoulder. He smelled good, like cigarette smoke and leather.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there in the grass, leaning against each other and his bike. One moment, I was dozing, and then next, I was far more awake and panicking. The clock on my phone said my shift at Tease had officially ended an hour ago, which meant that Jess was almost home and Ray would know I hadn’t been at work and would be so angry wondering where I was. I scrambled to my feet, muttering curses to myself. Now that I was no longer pressed against Crow’s warm body, I could feel the chill that the night air carried, raising goosebumps across my skin, and I cursed the fact that I was only wearing shorts and a crop top.
“I need to get home,” I muttered to myself, grabbing my bag off the ground and looking around, trying to determine the fastest way back. “Need to get home, gonna be late…”
I started to hurry down the road when a large hand wrapped around my upper arm.
“Relax darlin’,” Crow said. I looked up to see that somewhere in my panic he had picked himself up and was now straddling his bike, watching me with a bemused expression. “I’ll take you back into town.”
I frowned slightly, eyeing him suspiciously and swaying a little where I stood. “Should… should you be driving?” I asked dubiously, hiccupping a little. He had drunk just as much as I had.
He grinned at me. “Absolutely the fuck not.”
