Page 19 of House of Payne
“I always behave.”
“Suuure…” I kiss him, smoothing over the tension before walking back into the kitchen. While Noah and I might not be on the same page regarding how to handle things, I know he has my best interest at heart.
Like him, it’s hard to watch it all unfold, knowing there’s very little we can do.
I can’t blame him for looking for alternative solutions, but I wish he would keep my father in mind.
He needs us now more than ever.
With a sigh, I make another sundae and a cup of herbal tea for Noah, then we take the bowls and cups into my room.
My room is an embodiment of how much I fear change. The lilac walls have watched over me my whole life, and pictures of my family when it was still whole hang in silver frames. My ornate, white bedpost has stayed the same, while the white and purple covers have at least changed. The candles and incense are a new addition, too. I light them for ambiance as Noah and I settle onto my bed.
Being in my childhood room is warm, comforting, and familiar, like stepping back into simpler times when it felt like the world was mine for the taking.
I miss my old life and the future I envisioned for myself.
“I’m worried about you,” Noah says as he feeds me a spoonful of ice cream from his bowl. It’s cold and creamy in my mouth, and it chases away some of the fear with a mix of vanilla and chocolate perfection. “How are you really feeling about all this?”
“Scared,” I admit, pausing to swallow past the lump in my throat. “It’s a scary thing to face. I’m confused about how it all happened. I’m confused about what kind of mess he got into. I’m unsure of how to fix this, but I’m also determined to do it. I won’t let this hang over my father’s head. I won’t let him lose everything.”
Not if I can help it.
If we go down, we go down together, kicking and screaming the wholedamn way.
“I understand,” Noah replies. I feed him a spoonful of ice cream next, and he closes his eyes in an adorable way that makes me want to kiss him. When he opens his eyes again, he looks at me with a world of love within them. “But I don’t want you to worry about it too much because I’m going to fix this. You don’t have to do anything.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, not daring to hope that we’ve already found a solution.
But if anyone can make things right, I want to believe it’s Noah.
“I mean that things will be okay,” he says. “I’ve gotten a few incredible job offers already, I just have to figure out which one to choose. They’ll all bring good money in though, and I’m more than willing to help. In fact, I insist. I’ll pay to make this go away if that’s what it takes.”
I smile at Noah as relief washes over me. I’m uncertain about this. Taking money from him, especially a lot of it, makes me uncomfortable. If it were just for me, my pride wouldn’t be able to handle it.
But this is for my father, too, and he needs this. Besides, those men seem dangerous. I don’t want to risk it.
I don’t have any other options.
And I love Noah even more for offering.
“Thank you,” I tell him, and mean it. “I can’t thank you enough. That’s such a relief. I just want to know my father will be okay and… I love you so much. Why are you so good to me? How did I get this lucky?”
My heart is ready to burst, filled with so much love and gratitude for the man next to me, ready to offer me the world.
“It’s because I love you, too,” he says. “I love you with my whole heart, so I will always do everything I can to help you and make your life better. You’re it for me, London. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Besides, I want us to have a future together, and that includes your father, of course. I’ll do everything I can.”
“I’m just happy you’re in my life,” I tell him.
We kiss, and the sweetness from our sundaes melts against each other’s lips. We put our bowls of ice cream on the bedside stand, and then move closer to each other. Suddenly, I crave him desperately.
My arms lace around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands go to my waist. The kiss deepens, growing more passionate as his body moves over mine, and I feel his weight against me.
Holding him so close is a comfort. It feels like that as long as he’s here with me, the problems can’t follow me. His love is all the protection I need. His hands move under my shirt, brushing against my bare skin and sending chills up and down my body.
His fingers wander up my stomach, and he pulls my shirt over my head. Then, he gently touches the lacy blue and white bra I bought just for him.
“Sexy,” he whispers, admiring the view.
