Page 27 of House of Payne
I laugh. “You think I’m a predator?”
I step forward and smash the man’s face against the podium in front of us. It’s such a quick movement and so random that he doesn’t have time to fight back. I hear a crack and know his nose is broken. He deserves it.
His face is bleeding when he looks at me again. His daughter cries out in horror and runs to her father’s side, clinging to him as he pushes her off.
“I won’t judge you. I don’t have the right to with all the horrible things I’ve done. I’ve barely got much of a conscience myself. But Pastor, even I have rules.”
“I can see it in your eyes,” he snarls, the blood dripping down his face and making him appear even more ominous. “You want her; I can tell. You’re only projecting because you can’t face what’s under your mask. You are the devil, and you’ve committed moresins than anyone. You might as well indulge yourself. You’re already on your way to hell.”
Something about the pastor’s words digs under my skin, causing rage to boil. Rage never stays inside for long though. It’s the one thing I must always release.
He shrinks as I move toward him.
“Please,” he begs.
I have no reason to show this man mercy. I grab him and throw him against a pew, causing it to tumble over with him. His daughter moves obediently to her father’s side, even though he’s just offered her to me, and I couldn’t be more disgusted.
“This is your final warning, Pastor. Make your payment. And consider asking God for forgiveness.”
“You need forgiveness much more than I do.”
I consider all the things I can do or say to him but decide silence is the best answer and walk out. His chuckle follows me out the door.
And it’s stayed with me ever since.
***
I’m often asked why our club is nicknamed Mercy. The truth is, there are a lot of monsters in the real world who would end up hurting people if they weren’t allowed to release those inner demons in a safe and controlled way.
Including me.
This club was meant to let people with those crazy inhibitions have a space to let themselves go without causing real harm to others or getting arrested.
All the women here are willing. There’s no rape, murder, or torture like these men might be inclined to do in the real world. But when I think of people like the pastor, I realize that monsters still roam the world, and nothing we can offer will stop them.
Am I one of them? The pastor was right: I’ve committed my share ofsins. At the very least, it makes me someone who shouldn’t even go near London. She’s too pure for me, and too precious to touch.
The door opens, and Katia’s voice fills my ears.
“You should have been here before me.”
“I tried, but…”
“What do I hate, Katia?”
“Excuses.”
“Then you know I have to punish you?”
“Yes, sir.”
I don’t want her to say anything else. I want her to be a silent slave to my desires. I want her to be the woman I can touch in the way I long to touch London.
Katia is clever. She knows me in a way that others don’t. She’s picked up on my tone and cues. So, she doesn’t say anything else, she simply walks in and kneels in front of me like I’ve trained her to do.
Normally, seeing her in this position would turn me on. Today, I’m unbothered by it. Her breasts are nearly bursting out of the corset she wore to please me.
I just keep thinking of London, who was dressed far less seductively but was somehow much sexier to me than Katia has ever been.
