Page 59 of House of Payne
Realizing the allure of the darkness is one thing.
Giving into it is another.
I’ve already betrayed Noah once, and I have no intention of doing it again.
Poor Noah, who patiently waits for me to call him every night and stays on the phone with me until he falls asleep. He doesn’t know that I stay awake listening to the sound of his even breathing and wishing things were different. In the harsh light of day, I even imagine myself walking out of the House of Payne without a backward glance.
But each time I pluck up the courage, I replay the scene in my head of my father sprawled on his back in the diner, a stunned expression on his face while blood drips from his mouth. When I sit by my window at night and look out at the moonlit world, my father’s face keeps me from running.
He’s the reason I push through despite all the things I hear.
With a shake of my head, I finish mopping the bathroom and head back into the main room. After a glance around, I strip the sheets and flick on the ceiling fan. A gust of cold air moves around, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Once I’m done tidying the bed, I straighten the rest of the room and nod.
Sighing, I place both hands on my hips and scan the room again.
“You can always do the light cleaning and leave the more menial tasks to someone else.”
I force myself not to react as I stand there, his voice washing over me. “You hired me to do housekeeping. I intend to keep up my end of the bargain.”
“There are easier and far more pleasurable ways to enjoy yourself, London. I don’t know why you keep denying yourself.”
I spin to face Mason and ignore the twinge in my chest at the look on his face. “I’m not denying myself anything.”
Mason arches a brow at me. “Yes, you are. I saw the look on your face in the library. You had that same look the day you started working here.”
I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Mason covers the distance between us, and his smile sends a jolt straight to my stomach. “Don’t I? You keep forgetting I was in the library.”
I swat a lock of hair from my face and stand up straighter. “And you keep forgetting why I’m here. I’m here to work off my father’s debt, not to indulge in whatever twisted fantasy of me you have.”
No matter how appealing it seems.
I know it’s a bad idea to get involved with Mason.
Every bone in my body screams at me not to, but denying the pull I feel toward him is exhausting.
It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to press my lips to his.
I want to kick myself for wondering what he tastes like, and for imagining what he feels like.
Stop it, London. You’re here to do a job, remember? Don’t let him suck you in.
Mason smiles again. “There’s no reason you can’t do both. I’m sure you’ve already heard that other arrangements can be made toshortenyour… stay.”
I scoff. “And what makes you think I’d agree to any of it?”
The idea doesn’t make my skin crawl like it should, but I tell myself it doesn’t matter.
“I’m still with Noah,” I tell Mason a little too quickly. “I’m not going to hurt him like that, and even if I wasn’t with him, it wouldn’t matter.”
Mason takes another step forward, and I take an involuntary step back, so my back is pressed against the nearest wall. “I’m not worried about that little boy you have at home. He’ll grow tired of waiting soon enough.”
I bristle as I throw my head back to look at him. “He’snota boy, and he won’t get tired.”
He wouldn’t, not after everything we’ve been through.
Noah had been willing to work himself to the bone to help my father.
