Page 46 of House of Payne
Noah has a bright future ahead.
He can’t be anywhere near me, and there’s no room for him in my life until I pay off the debt.
“There’s something you have to tell me.” Noah’s concern is bright in his eyes. “I can see it. Something’s going on. You know you can tell me what it is, Lo. You can tell me anything.”
“I know. It’s just… it’s not easy to say because I love you so much. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Miss me?” he asks. “Why would you have to miss me? I’m right here, and I always will be.”
I know he’s telling the truth, and that’s the hardest part. I know he’s here. He’ll always be here. And I know I have to leave him.
“I know. And I appreciate you for that so much. It’s just… I have to go away for a while.”
“What do you mean?” His face falls in defeat. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No.” I touch his shoulder gently. He looks right at me, and it’s so difficult to lie to him like this. But I know it’s what I have to do to protect us. “I’m not breaking up with you. I love you so much; it’s just…”
I pause and take a deep breath, ignoring the hammering in my chest. “I have a job opportunity. I can’t tell you much about it. It’s confidential. But it’ll pay me the kind of money I’d never make working at the diner, and we need that money right now.”
I stop again and swallow as the pounding in my ears grows louder. “I won’t be gone forever, but I’m going to have to spend the next year out of the country. I’ll be making a ton of money. I’ll make enough to save the diner and the house. It’ll ease all our worries.”
Noah looks at me skeptically. “That sounds a little too good to be true. Especially if you have to leave the country. Are you sure this is legitand not some sort of sex trafficking thing or something?”
I think back to the club I’m supposed to work in. At least I won’t have to be doing the sexual things, just cleaning. But it’s close enough to make Noah’s statement ironic.
“It’s legitimate,” I lie. “I’ve done my due diligence to make sure I’ll be safe. I just have to work for the year, and everything will be better. We can be together and have the kind of future we always wanted.”
“I told you not to worry about this stuff,” Noah reminds me. “I have a good job. I can help pay for things.”
“And I appreciate that so much.” Tears threaten to fall at how sweet he is and how difficult it is to say goodbye. But he’s part of the reason why I’m doing this. My heart is being squeezed with each word. “I appreciate it more than you could know.”
Noah’s job isn’t enough.
It’s never going to be, and he deserves better.
Also, I’ve already signed over my freedom for the next year.
“It would take you a while to come up with the kind of money we need, and this will only take a year. And then you won’t have to worry about paying my father’s debt. We can go straight into our future without this hanging over our heads. It’ll make things so much better.”
“I don’t want to be away from you for so long,” he protests.
My voice catches, and I take a deep breath. “I don’t want that, either. But I promise to keep in touch. I’ll contact you as often as I can. We can both work on our own things for a little while and then enjoy each other even more when we come together again.”
He looks skeptical, but I know Noah. He’s not one to hold me back from something I want to do. He’s supportive and patient.
“I don’t like it one bit,” he admits. “But if this is something you really want to do, I’m not going to keep you from it. I love you too much to control you.”
A long moment passes where neither of us says anything.
I worry he’ll make this harder than it has to be.
Noah smiles at me then, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
There’s so much love and patience in his eyes.
I’m sorry, Noah. You have no idea how sorry I am, but I have to do this. Someday, I hope you can understand.
He takes my hands in his, and his smile grows softer. “You have my support no matter what path you take in life. I’ll be here for you, no matter what you do. I love you, London. And if this is what your heart is set on to give us an even better future, then I support it.”
